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vent

sooo sabi daw ni mama, pwede na daw mag face-to-face next school year. next school year ako ay grade 9 na so... accept ko naman na ftf na, marami rin akong naiisip sa mga maari kong pagdaanan next school year so vent muna HSHAHAHA

1. friends- 5th grade really always give me shivers. that school year really made me doubt about my ability to socialize. i mean i already know na mostly I can't approach people except kung may kailangan, like I can't do the talking first to them, u know? I don't know how to interact a conversation with a stranger... but I'm trying my best naman it's just that, im afraid na mapag-isa na naman ako this next grade. so afraid... sobrang natatakot ako pag wala akong kaibigan, baka makapag-hukay ako ng satili kong libingan pag wala nga akong kaibigan HSAHHAHAHA JK

2. appearance- u know that im insecure of my self. my face, my body, my attitude, like all of me. im so scared na wala akong kaibigan bcs of my appearance. mataba ako, i have a weird fricking face and all, natatakot ako na i-judge nila ako. I'm also expecting na next school year i will be the "fat" student in the classroom, not a big surprise...

3. knowledge- every quarter in my card, may mga 90+ grades ako, not all, pero meron sa mga ibang subject. im nervous na baka tanungin ako ng isang teacher about one particular question tas d ko sinagot hahahaha ouch sakit sa pride nyan ah. im also expecting na hindi ako makakakuha ng mga 90+ grade pag face-to-face na. this pandemic study, ang guide ko lang ay ang internet. ang mga vids, pictures, brainly (HSHAHAHA), etc. dahil sa mga yan nasasagot ko with ease ang aking module but sa ftf na? geez, nakakatakot Hshahhaa

One of my biggest fear is being embarrassed. This being the top of all. I hate it. Ayaw ko sa feeling na iyon. ayaw ko uli maramdaman iyon. hoping sana next school year ay i already changed, u know? sana may improvement ako sa klase hshshs. yun lang wala na akong maisip pero one thing talaga: kinakabahan ako next school year.

that's all. masasabi ko lang sa future self ko ay, GOOD LUCK!!! HINDI KO KAYANG MAISIP ANG GAGAWIN MO PAG FACE-TO-FACE NA BUT GOOD LUCK!! SALUDO AKO SA IYO BOSS!!!!!

6/17/22