Scratched

Thirty

THIRTY

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Time passed and before long we were back on the road. I easily fell back into the routine of things. If you could even call it routine. Besides the bus and shows there wasn't much that was expected. Despite this It was actually more difficult to not be touring now for me. Having shows and living off the bus was my new norm. I had adapted. It seemed second nature now, and I was thankful once we got back on tour because we were traveling a lot. We picked up show after show, and things slipped back into some semblance of normalcy.

I had thought things would never get back to normal after everything that had happened with Reed, but I had been wrong. I had managed to dodge ever discussing the topic with Reed. I don't know if that was a credit to my ability to get out of sticky situations or something else. I considered that many he had never really wanted to discuss it in the first place. Whatever the case neither of us ever broached the subject, and that was just fine by me. Talking about it would only knock down whatever friendship we had built, and it really wasn't worth the trouble.

As the days sped by, traveling from city to city it wasn't long before Christmas was upon us. I had almost forgotten about it, but it was hard to ignore. When everywhere you went there was decorations and commercials proclaiming it you couldn't really forget it. I used to love the holidays. I got to be with my family and enjoying a rare moment together. Despite all this though I couldn't this year. I wasn't ready to return home, even temporarily. While this was an easy conclusion to come to it was much harder to tell everyone about it. It wasn't like my mother wasn't already angry at me.

"Will you be home for Christmas?" mom asked.

This was the part I didn't like. It was much too hard to explain. So I lied. It was the easiest way, and I was always one for taking the easy way out. "I can't mom," I told her. I grabbed the most obvious excuse. "We're right in the thick of the tour. I can't get away to make it back to Riverview. But I'm going to be sending gifts, and maybe we can get on webcam, huh?" I tried to soften the blow, but I knew she wasn't happy with me. Far from it.

"Oh. We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, mom."

"Call me later. Okay?"

"I will," I assured her.

We said our goodbyes and then I hung up. I let out a breath, pushing my hair out of my face. I wanted to come home. I really did. I missed mom and Rhett. I even missed Laila and her constant crying. Just thinking about Christmas made me want to rush home. I knew I would miss our little holiday traditions, and seeing everyone's face as they opened their gifts. Despite all of this, I couldn't bring mysled to come home. I guess it was fear. I was scared that if I returned I would never be able to leave again. Sort of like kids taking a year off of school—they never come back. And I wasn't sure I could trust myself. I was scared I would fall back into the simple predictable life I had there.

So I stayed away. It was for the best. With the way things were going I was sure they were better off without me there. I cast a look down at my phone before I decided I needed to get out for a while. I turned, walking towards the door to the hotel room only to find Callum leaning against the wall. I frowned. "Hey, Callum," I said uncertainly. I hadn't even heard him come in. How long had he been standing there? I shrugged off the thought and turned my attention fully back to him. "So are you going home for the holidays?"