Scratched

Five

FIVE

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I was flying. I felt free. I felt like I could do anything. In that moment I felt like I was truly alive. Laughing, I kicked my feet like it could send me faster and higher. I felt my stomach lurch as I soared up into the air. I gripped onto the swing tighter as I went higher and higher. And then I was coming back down and all that freedom I had felt only minutes ago started to vanish, but it only lasted a second before I felt mom’s hand on my back. And then she was pushing me back up again and everything came back.

I remembered this day.

Back before dad left mom. In that time everything had been easier, simpler. Mom and I had been so close in those days. In those days I had never embarrassed her or disappointed her in any way. Now she wouldn’t talk to me. She couldn’t even look at me. It was weird how far we had fallen since those days. All because of one thing. It was strange looking back. How did we go from laughing to screaming? I could still see the look in her eyes as she stood in the kitchen the other day. The way she had looked at me. I saw so many things—bitterness, hate, and disappointment but it had been so small compared to the other two. I couldn’t bring myself to think about it just like I couldn’t stand to talk about dad. Every problem I had stemmed from one moment and I could do nothing to fix it.

I was coming down now. The fear I had felt a few moments ago as I fell were no longer there. I knew that as I came down mom would be there to lift me back up again, and I felt no fear. Only this time she wasn’t there. She didn’t catch me. I came down, my feet dragging against the ground. I looked around. The world was empty around me—mom was nowhere in sight. And then I saw something. She was walking away from me.

“Mom!” I called after her.

I thought she would turn around and come back as soon as she heard my voice. She didn’t though. She just kept walking as if I had never said anything at all. I moved forward a few feet. “Mom, wait!” I called again now starting to run after her. I felt the panic rising in me as I ran after her. “Mom, you’re forgetting me! Please wait!” Instead of getting closer she only got further and further away from me until she was only a speck of darkness. Then she was gone altogether and I was alone.

♪           ♫           ♪

I gasped, bolting upright only to lose my balance and knock myself off the couch. I fell, my arm smacking against the coffee table as I frantically tried to catch myself but I only managed to sprawl myself on the floor. I sighed, dropping my head onto the ground. I stared up at the ceiling and that’s when I noticed something. I rolled my head to the side my eyes landing on a guy Rhett had told me was Chad. He was sitting in the armchair just staring at me.

Well, that’s definitely not creepy, I thought as I pushed myself to a sitting position. “How long have you been there?” I asked. It wasn’t until the words had already left my mouth that I realized I probably didn’t want to know the answer to that, but it was too late to take it back now. Chad’s face remained totally expressionless as he continued to stare at me. This was just getting to be too creepy for me.

“About an hour,” he said dryly.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I cast one more dark look at Chad before I dragged myself off the floor, rolling my blanket up in my hands. I threw it on the couch, heading off to the bathroom. I had got in late from hanging with Tiana, which was a miracle. I think if I had spent a full day with Rhett’s fraternity brothers’ I would have lost it by now. I stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I wasn’t surprised to find that it was just as disgusting as every other place in this house. The floor was littered with bits of clothing and the toilet—I wouldn’t even get into that. I pulled the shower door open and instantly gagged.