Scratched

Thirty Four

THIRTY FOUR

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I decided to give my father a chance.

As I arrived at the address he had provided me I was sure I was going to regret this. I hadn't seen him in years. I wasn't sure what to feel. I was a mess of feelings—sad, angry, nervous, excited. It was all so confusing. I took one more deep breath before making my way up the stairs to his apartment. I raised my hand, knocking on the door. It was barely a second later and then the door was opening, revealing my father after years and years.

I had thought about this a lot when I was younger, what it would be like to see him again. It was all I wanted after he had left. I just hoped that maybe he hadn't left and that he would just show up maybe with some crazy story or no story at all. I don't know. So many things occurred to me then. I was young and naive. I wanted to see the best in people, only not everyone was what we hoped they would be. Despite these feelings running through me I trudged on.

"Uh, hi," I said uncertainly.

"Come in!" he instructed.

He looked exactly as I had remembered with his wild black hair and deep deep eyes. The only difference was he had gotten older. He was handsome even still though. Compared to my mother he had seemed to hardly age at all. He still had that youthful air about him though. I stared at him, trying to think back to all those years ago. He seemed different to me. Not physically, but something. He reached out to pull me in but changed his mind at the last minutes, apparently realizing that wouldn't be the best thing to do. I had barely agreed to come as it was.

I glanced around the room as he shut the door behind me. I had almost forgotten what the other side of Lechston was like. I had experienced when I was staying with Kaia, but that seemed like such a distant time now. His apartment was small, probably only comfortable for one person, and it ws messy. He moved passed my, clearing off the couch. "Sorry about that," he said with a breathy chuckle. "Things have been a little hectic. Sit down! I was just getting ready to make lunch." At the mention of food my stomach rumbled. I hadn't had the chance to eat much since I had made it back into town. Between everything that was going on I was almost too busy.

I peered at my phone. I had a couple hours before Andrew was due to pick me up. The interview was later tonight, and I still wasn't sure how I felt about it. Nervous for sure but everything else, I don't know. I looked over at my father. It felt strange calling him that. "Yeah. Yeah, food sounds great," I said, trying to shake off some of the awkwardness. "What were you going to make?" I dropped down onto the couch, careful not to touch anything. Even though he had cleaned off everything that had littered the couch it didn't look much cleaner. Where had he got this thing?

"How about grilled cheese?" he asked me, "Is it still your favorite?" My breath caught in my throat. I could hardly believe he even still remembered that. It had always been my favorite food. I remember he had this special way of making in, and no one else's could ever match his. My mother had tried to make it for me and every time I just couldn't. It was strangely one of the things I missed most about him. I had little things I would always remember and love my mother for, mom things but then there were little things that dad had always done. This was one of them, and I had missed it.

"That sounds amazing!"

"I guess I got that right?"

"You always made the best," I said more to myself than him, but he flashed me a smile regardless. I watched him as he started gathering the ingredients. The bread, the butter, and the Velveeta cheese. He always used Velveeta. Watching him I could almost forgot that he had been gone for so long, but in the back of my head it was still there. I had been without a father figure for so long that I felt almost uncomfortable with the prospect of one being back in the picture. It felt more like being with a friend now than a father. "So what have you been doing since... you know?"