Copter's POV
"Ter.."
I was about to leave the changing room when I met P'Kim.. Well.. we never had a chance to talk ever since. I've been avoiding him, and he's been always out of it most of the time now.
"Phi.. it's already late.. you're still here?"
"I wait for you.."
For some reason, I feel weird..
"For what?"
"That's cold.."
"Phi--"
"I never knew I'll fall to this pit."
I halted on my steps getting the idea that he won't leave me alone if I'll just let him follow me.
"Jun is waiting for me Phi.."
"I-I know.."
"And.. between us.. there's nothing really for us to talk about.."
"Hear me out.."
"For what Phi?.."
"I.."
I shifted to face him as the sudden thickening of air reminds me of everything..
Everything..
Like my life with P'Kim.. It's the same feeling.. It's.. suffocating.
".. Miss you."
Fuck.
I'm not expecting the words to come from his own mouth..
"We still see each other."
"I'm not referring to that.."
"Then tell me what you're referring to??"
He misses me?
"Why Ter?"
"Phi.. I'm telling you.. Please stop prolongi--"
"Just when I thought I'm starting to fall for you.."
He does?..
"Let's just go home."
"Just when I'm starting to earn the courage.."
"You're just tired.."
"Just when I realize how important you are to me.."
Important?
"Why? Why leave now Ter?"
Do I have an answer?
"Just why??"
I know I don't have..
"I'm leaving.."
Do I have to answer?
"Don't leave like this.. Please Cop.. Plea--"
"I'm sorry.."
I guess I don't have to.
"I'm sorry P'Kim.."
I don't need to reason why I want to be free from this suffocation. I just want.. I just choose..
"I'm not expecting this to come from you, really.."
To be happy for myself--
"But, I'm sorry.."
As I see my life now holding someone else's hand.
"For.. This time around, I choose to value myself."
A hand which I always longed for to hold.
"Phi, I'll stop.. I decided to stop seeing myself as less in everything.. Because finally.."
A sudden image of him smiling everytime he sees me flashed in my mind..
Geez..
Even without you around, you soothed my heart.
I darted my eyes to P'Kim.. I can't almost remember when was the last time I was able to stare straight to his eyes..
But now, I made it. And saw him clearer than ever.
"P'Kim.."
I called with a breath releasing this weight off my chest.
"I finally found someone who taught me, that I'm stupid for not seeing myself as someone valuable.."
His eyes were flooded with tears..
"Phi, I found someone who taught me that I have a choice all this time.. and who taught me, to not be scared of choosing myself.."
"T-Ter.."
"And yes phi, let's close the doors for us.. close whatever there is or was between us.."
He grabbed my arm as I attempted to step away.
"At least a chance.. Copter.. Not like this.. Not now. A chance.. just once.."
"4-5 years of chances Phi.. Nothing worked.. And this time.. it's finally for myself whom I lost for trying to always understand and accept things I knew I never deserve. So, it's a No Phi, No more chances, No more us.. and No more losing myself again and again.."
I carefully pulled my hand from his grasp..
"At least.. Please, think of this as your farewell gift to me.."
For once.. I felt so sure of my words.
"Goodbye P'Kim.."
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