Camilo's Journey

Chapter 29:

Everything was a blur of pain and loneliness for Camilo for the next day and a half, until Spencer showed up at the hospital looking like he was dressed for the English winter. Scarf, beanie and all. He looked like he'd barely slept a wink but still had a smile for Camilo.

He didn't say a word just propped himself up onto the bed beside Camilo and basically crawled into his arms and stayed there.

There was a power in the silence and the warmth of their bodies together. Camilo imagined that this was how skin on skin contact would be with Spencer, a whole lot of warmth and comfort in being together and being vulnerable.

It wasn't till he felt Spencer's tears against his own cheek that he felt the sadness emanating from him.
"Hey, are you okay beautiful?" Camilo whispered. Spencer sniffed and shuffled so his head dropped onto Camilo's chest.

"It's just been quite the few days, I guess even when I'm trying to get a better handle on all my feelings they still need to leak out sometimes, and I hope you don't mind that I feel comfortable enough to do that with you."

Goosebumps gently raised on Camilo's skin.
"Of course I don't mind." He whispered.

"I know you broke Claudia down."Spencer  chuckled despite himself. "But I'm so happy you're coming home with me." He said softly.

"Me too, Spence." Camilo said as he tucked a curl behind Spencer's ear.
"I want to wake up in the morning with your skin touching mine in all the places that we want them to. To feel every part of you."

Camilo whispered, the morphine was still in his system and the words coming out of his mouth were free and he didn't much care because they were honest anyway.

"The morphine is making you loopy, but I want that too." Spencer lifted his head slightly and looked directly into Camilo's eyes. His eyes were wet and there was a sadness in them still but Spencer looked content.

They laid there until the nurses told Camilo he was free to go. They presented Camilo with crutches that he used a lot to steady himself after spending so long in bed over the last.. however long. Camilo hand lost track of time, his fall felt like it had been ages ago.

***

Spencer hailed a cab for them and with a lot of awkward shifting, they traveled out to Alex's Parents house where they greeted them with hot chocolate and an entire tray of all the chocolate biscuits Camilo imagined had ever existed.

"How's the ankle feeling 'milo?" Alex asked him.
"Painful, but I'll survive." He answered as he phone started to ring from between him and Spencer on the couch. His mama! He almost started crying as Spence flicked it on to speaker.

"'milo, my baby! I finally reached you. The school called me, are you okay?" His mama's sentences ran together and heard his papa warn her about her cloud.

"I'm surviving mama, I just got to Alex's place with Spence and they are treating me like a prince." He laughed tiredly, a smile on his face.
"Ah Prince Camilo! Hello Spencer and Alex." His mama said.

"Hi Peppa." Spencer and Alex said in unison.
"Alex, make sure you thank your parents for having Camilo there tonight." Peppa said.
"It's all of our pleasure, we love Camilo." They said so sweetly it gave Camilo whiplash. They laughed.

"And Spencer darling, your mama called me earlier with the details for your flights in the morning, I thanked her. But thank you for having 'milo." She said.

Spencer scoffed.
"Peppa, you literally had me in your home for months, the pleasure is all mine." He said so sweetly that Camilo cooed and his mama and Alex laughed.

"Anyway, you two take care of 'milo and yourselves okay?" Peppa said.

"We will." Spencer said.
"Bye" they all said.

***

Later Alex set both Spencer and Camilo up in separate rooms as per their parents instructions. But they  leaned forward before they left them.
"Absolutely do whatever the fuck you want." They said and headed off to bed themselves.

Camilo hobbled into the bathroom, he even hobbled on his crutches. How was he so sick of this and so sore after only a few hours? Maybe he wasn't using them correctly because when he removed his shirt to give himself a quick wash there were bruises under his arms.
So Camilo leaned on one of the crutches and cried while he washed himself. He felt pathetic and weak and was glad Spencer wasn't seeing him like this.

Though once he'd cried it out and felt clean again, he did feel marginally better. And when he moved slowly back out the large master bedroom that he and Spencer had decided to share, his eyes caught on Spencer's sweetly freckled back as he climbed into the double bed naked.

"Hold on beautiful, let me see you." Camilo smiled, startling Spencer a little but he didn't blush or hide himself, he let Camilo see all of him.

Camilo really did by into Spencer's line of thinking that being naked with someone was romantic. It didn't have to be about sex.

Camilo stripped off his own t shirt and shorts.
"You're beautiful 'milo." Spencer said as he took Camilo's hand and helped him up onto the bed. Camilo blushed as Spencer ran his fingers over his collarbone.

"Says the boy, who is literally a walking constellation of freckles." Camilo said as he ran his own fingers down Spencer's cheek, down his neck and onto his chest.

"I think I like that description." Spencer said softly.
"Me too darling." Camilo whispered as he laid down and suddenly felt nervous. "I need you to put boundaries in place so I'm not making you uncomfortable." Camilo said softly and Spencer smiled.
"I only have one rule, and that's no genital touching." Spencer said a little timidly as he slid one of the pillows in front of himself.

He seemed to be a little embarrassed so Camilo took his hand.
"Whatever you need to feel comfortable, you do it okay?" Camilo said, surprised at the stern tone in his voice. Spencer nodded and pulled Camilo into his arms.
Camilo felt all of Spencer's skin at once, all the warmth and all the vulnerability. It was nice, and it felt like the safest place in the world.
He listened to Spencer's heart beating.

Until Camilo's body responded in a way that he worried was going to make Spencer not want to do this with him anymore. But it wasn't long before Spencer's body reacted in the same way.
Camilo could feel Spencer's heart beating faster against his chest.

"My, my.. my whole body is tingling Camilo. What is that? I've never.." he whispered and Camilo just kissed him, he felt it too but he didn't want to overwhelm Spencer, not right away.

"I feel it too." He whispered. Spencer's head rested on Camilo's chest. And then Spencer was crying and Camilo held him tightly.

"I think maybe I will want to have sex with you one day.. maybe.. but I'm not ready for that yet or maybe I never will be, it's hard to think past now. I'm scared 'milo." He sniffed.

Camilo cupped Spencer's face in his hands. He felt the warmth and sting of tears behind his own eyes.

"It's okay to be scared Spence, I love you. All you ever have to be with me is comfortable." Camilo said and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too." Spencer whispered.
They both calmed down and Camilo enjoyed the feeling of skin on skin contact, the warmth and the vulnerability of feeling entirely safe in someone's arms. Just as they had first intended it to feel.

Sometimes things were different or scarier than you think they'll be, Camilo thought. But you'll never experience the best moments if you don't go through the fear and awkwardness first.