Camilo's Journey

Chapter 32:

Camilo was patient over the next few days but he was glad when Spencer started to come back into himself and back to Camilo. It was small smiles, foot touches and hand holds. But it meant everything to Camilo.

Today Cindy was sending them to a market in London and they decided they would find Billie's youth centre too.
"Could be cool to meet some more queer people." Spencer said as he pulled on his lace up black boots. They suited him, Camilo thought but he knew he was bias.
"Spence, literally all our friends are queer." Camilo teased. Spencer shook his head and his curls fell onto his face as he tied his boots.
"I mean here, in London." He said. "Where I'm from. I never sought out other lgbtqia+ people when I was younger, too scared I guess, but now it could be cool." Spencer said like he was trying to convince himself while having a bit of a fight with his curls in his face, he needed a haircut perhaps? Or..

"Allow me?" Camilo asked as he slipped his spare hair tie off his wrist. Spencer nodded and Camilo laced his fingers through Spencer's curls, they were always soft, always!
Camilo pulled the top of Spencer's hair into a tidy bun, the tidiest you can get with curls, Camilo would know. "There." Camilo said. "Better?" He added.

Spencer nodded.
"I can see now," he laughed. "Thank you." He said with a soft and brief smile. He's still healing, Camilo thought, and that's okay.

"You want to live here in London after school?" Camilo ventured carefully, he was curious.
Spencer shrugged.
"Maybe, but I'm not certain. Ideally I'd want where ever I end up to not be half a world away from you." Spencer said with a little head tilt that made Camilo grin. He took Spencer's hand and squeezed.
"I'll make sure of it." Camilo whispered, then wondered if he should have said something he wanted so much in his heart, out loud.

Spencer stayed fixed in his head tilt. But his face became serious.
"Be careful 'milo, make sure you are sure." He said carefully.
"Of  course I'm sure, Spence." He squeezed Spencer's hand again. "When are you going to realise that I'd follow you to the end of the earth."
Spencer smiled and dropped his head onto Camilo's shoulder. He didn't say anything but Camilo hoped he believed him, if only a little bit.
"And if you need to talk." Camilo said as he tilted Spencer's head up. "I'm always here."
"I know." He sniffed.

***
The market was busy, people seemed to think Camilo and Spencer were ghosts.. one woman even tried to walk through Spencer, then had the nerve to snap at him. Poor Spencer looked like he might cry.

"She walked into me." He sort of squeaked. Camilo pulled him in closer. He wanted to hold his hand but the crutches made that impossible.
"Just stay close, they won't walk through the cripple." Camilo laughed. And Spencer laughed.
"I'll mow them down if they try." He said sweetly.
"Badass!" Camilo teased.

"Look!" Spencer cried suddenly as they passed a colourfully painted shop window. And a trans flag hung loosely over the door.
"Billie's youth centre." Camilo said with a smile as he shuffled on his crutches so he was beside Spencer again. They both peered into the youth centre. As expected there were kids who looked as young as twelve right up to older kids who must have been in there twenties.

The younger kids drew and did art with every lgbtqia+ flag Camilo had ever seen, and some he hadn't seen. Camilo was in awe. His attention turned to the older kids who chatted with Billie and the other kids. Some shared headphones listening to music while others made more advanced art, like beading bracelets and necklaces.

Camilo shifted his gaze to Spencer who seemed to be in just as much awe as Camilo but with a touch of fear and maybe some sadness. Camilo leaned over his crutches and put his hand on Spencer's shoulder.
"You okay?" He asked. Spencer shrugged.

"A lot of these kids probably are going through the same thing as I went through as a kid."
He sighed as a kid locked eyes with Spencer's.
They would have been twelve at most. Their big brown eyes were filled with tears as Billie came over to sit with them.

Spencer stayed so close to Camilo when they walked in, that Camilo swore he could feel Spencer's breath on his cheek. Camilo was frustrated that he couldn't give Spencer any comfort.. was being close, enough? He didn't know.
But when Billie called out their names and raced over to them he felt better.

Billie wore her braided space buns again but this time she'd bedazzled them in emerald gems that matched the flowing emerald dress she was wearing.
She hugged Spencer who somehow managed to still stay close to Camilo. And then Billie moved to give him a gentle hug around his crutches.

"I'm so glad you guys made it.." Billie started but both her eyes and Camilo's were drawn to Spencer as he walked right over and sat with the kid that had caught his eye outside.

Right away Camilo could see both of their tense shoulders relax and they couldn't hear the words spoken but Camilo knew Spencer was comforting them.

"That's Elliott, his parents are.. for the lack of a better term "traditionalists." He comes from a big Italian family that couldn't accept their just turned twelve year old son who was simply born in the wrong body."
Billie said wearily as she pulled up chairs for Camilo and made him put his leg up.

As Camilo watched Elliott wipe at his eyes but start to lighten up around Spencer his heart simultaneously broke and glowed. How could anyone turn their back on their own child, just because of who they are. Camilo wiped at a few tears that escaped his own eyes. How was this happening to so many people just like Camilo, or in his community?

"Spencer will be good for him." Billie smiled as she handed Camilo some tissues. This was so embarrassing if he could run he would.. stupid ankle. He stared down at it.

"Hey," Billie said suddenly as she put a chair down beside him. "There's no judgement here, if you need to cry just cry. Whatever you're feeling it's safe to feel it and be whatever you want here."

Camilo looked up at her, straight into her blue sparkly contacts.
"Well then, this place is amazing. It's exactly what Spencer needs." He looked over to where Elliott and Spencer were, both of them wore the same relieved smile of finding someone who gets it. Elliott showed Spencer some drawing he'd done with a smile so proud that Camilo felt his heart warming.

"And what about you Camilo?" Billie's voice broke into his thoughts and he turned his gaze back to her. What?
"What about me?" He asked, this wasn't for him was it?

"What do you need?" Billie asked offering her hand to him, he took it but said.
"Oh, no nothing, my family are supportive, the other kids who don't.." Camilo started but stopped when Billie shook her head and her gems seemed to jingle. She moved her chair closer to him.

"Not having a supportive family isn't the only issue that queer youth faces, Camilo. And it doesn't have to be "queer problems" that you need us for, me and the other "supervisors" are here to support you all through whatever you are going through." Billie said and squeezed his hand. "This is a space for all queer youth, some stay with us upstairs, they have their own rooms, like little Elliott. But a good chunk of these kids just come here for fun or to be around other queer people." Billie explained.

Camilo nodded and smiled. Billie was an incredible person and he immediately felt safe around her.
"So if you want to, we can talk through whatever is bothering you?" Billie asked gently.

Her kind tone made Camilo feel like he was safe, he couldn't deny that.
"I'm just.." he started but he still hesitated but he was pleasantly surprised when Billie just sat their patiently, she didn't push him or anything else. She gave him the space to speak if he chose to.