✔️ Midnight Sparks『 T.H. 』✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter 33: A ridiculous amount of hope

If I find my own way

How much will I find

You

- Joseph Arthur

- - -

Before I knew it, fall was here and my days at Café Luna were spent perfecting the pumpkin spice latte – our new seasonal drink that came about from Lou who had reluctantly agreed to entertain customer requests for this "strange and foul concoction", as he had put it.

Today in particular, I was experimenting with adding a couple of new ingredients to the drink. Just as I was done sprinkling paprika powder and sea salt into the mug, the bells by the front door rang.

My eyes were still trained on the mug, but then glanced up rapidly when the woman who sat close to the counter called out, "Tom!"

Heart slamming against my chest for one second, I realized that the person who had just stepped in wasn't who I was expecting to see – it was a blond teenage boy who was rushing in with a wave at the woman, saying, "Hey, mom. Sorry I'm late!"

Okay, calm down, I told myself. What did you expect anyway? That Tom Holland would once again stroll through the doorway, throwing you the most nonchalant yet disarming smile like he did before?

Even when it had happened the first time, almost a year ago, it had felt so surreal. The kind of thing that you would see in a saccharine-sweet moment in Netflix's latest romance flick.

Totally unrealistic.

Yet here I was, with a heart rate that hadn't quite returned to normal. Wondering how I would react if that unrealistic moment were to occur again.

Strangely enough, the thought did not fill me with heaviness and gripping pain. I had not allowed myself to think about him for the past several months, in the name of giving myself time and space to heal... So was this it? Was I healing?

The door opened wide a second time, and I couldn't help but look up with a ridiculous amount of hope.

"Ali. I thought I would find you here."

It was not Tom, but the grin that the person was wearing was still a welcome one.

"Owen," I greeted. "Hey, this is a surprise."

Owen weaved through the tables until he reached where I was. Tapping his fingers lightly on the countertop, he said, "So this is where you work. I can't believe I've never been here before."

"I know it's a little out of the way from where you live – so no offense taken," I answered with a grin.

Owen nodded. "Yeah well, today I'm on a mission to find the best tiramisu in town. And it has led me here."

"You came to the right place. Did you always have a strong liking to cakes? I can't remember," I mused.

"It's actually for my girlfriend," Owen admitted, slightly shy.

"Oh hey, that's really nice," I told him sincerely, my smile widening. "Is she into chocolate chip cookies too? We have a fresh batch out. I could throw a couple in there for you."

"That'll be great, yeah."

As Owen watched me prepare the order, he added, "How are you doing, Ali? I hardly bump into you on campus now."

"I know. I think our class schedules must be totally different after I switched majors. Pre-med is kicking my butt, but I enjoy the challenge. On most days at least."

"You'll ace through it all," Owen predicted.

I laughed in response. "Where can I buy some of that confidence, please?"

"You just need to start seeing yourself the way others see you," Owen said simply.

"Or maybe you've just always been the nicest person to everyone," I countered, laughing again.

"Not everyone. Do you remember how un-nice I get towards some of the customers at the bookstore?"

"Oh yeah. I miss those stories," I murmured, facing Owen now as I began placing the cookies into a paper bag.

Owen rubbed his chin. "Here's one. I first met my girlfriend at the bookstore. And I was arguing with her about Yuval Noah Harari's Sapiens book."

"So literal sparks flew between the two of you then?"

Owen chuckled. "For sure. And it's been seven months, but we still have these, uhh, fiery discussions."

"You sound happy, so I'm going to assume that's a good thing."

"It is. It's like... I don't argue like that with anyone else. She fires up parts of me that make me feel more alive – more whole. My world just makes a lot more sense now with her in it." Owen shook his head with a smile. "It probably sounds extremely cheesy, I know."

"No, no. I get what you mean." I gazed at Owen, truly happy for him.

Owen cleared his throat. "And how are things with you, relationship-wise? If I'm not prying, that is."

"Oh you're absolutely not." I licked my lips before continuing, "Things didn't work out between us."

With a wince, Owen said, "Sorry. I really shouldn't have asked..."

"Don't worry. I'm fine," I assured him.

I put the finishing touch to the paper bag before sliding it over to Owen.

"Here you go." Owen handed me a ten dollar bill. "And well, at least you gave it a shot, right? With the lucky guy, whoever he was. You know what they say, that regret will haunt you a lot more than failure."

I nodded, but on the inside I wasn't as certain.

"It's been good seeing you, Ali. Catch you around."

"Definitely."

My eyes followed Owen as he made his exit, while my thoughts roamed to a place that hadn't been visited in a long while.

Did I really try with Trevor McGeek – the one person who made me feel like life was complete with him in it? Did I actually give us a fair chance to be something true?