✔️ Midnight Sparks『 T.H. 』✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter 14: Fragile strength

'Cause I've been caught in between all I wish for and all I need

Maybe you're not even sure what it's for

Any more than me

- Joseph Arthur

- - -

"And this was us at Rockefeller Center. Can you believe that the Christmas decorations are up already?!"

I paused in my task of refilling the sugar bowls at Café Luna and leaned across the counter to look at the photo Jayna was showing me on her phone. In it, she and Harrison beamed against the backdrop of the unmistakable giant Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.

Time was whizzing by. I couldn't believe that autumn was almost over. And frankly, where had the entire year gone?

To Jayna, I responded, "I know! One would think that Christmas is on November 25th, not December." I pointed at the photo. "Mm, so I gotta say that this would've been an amazing picture... If only Harrison wasn't sticking his tongue out and squinting his eyes."

Jayna tossed her head back with a laugh. "You have no idea how hard it is to get him to pose properly for the camera. I have like 20 photos of him pulling the silliest faces, ugh."

A smile formed on my lips as I saw the way Jayna glowed when she talked about Harrison. It was an effortless kind of joy, relaxed and light. My best friend was happy, and I was happy about that.

"What's with the smile, Ali?" Jayna asked, uncharacteristically self-conscious and tugging at the ends of her golden curls.

"Nothing. It's just nice to see you like this."

"Like how?"

"Contented."

Jayna smirked. "Have I not always been contented?"

"Not like this. Not with Ben, or Jenkins, or the guy before Jenkins – I don't even remember his name now."

"Steve," Jayna helpfully supplied the name. "But yeah, okay, I guess I know what you mean. Things with Harrison just feel.. easier. Comfortable."

I nodded. "And I definitely feel it too. Like with Ben, I was always stressed out when you got stressed out over him."

Jayna smiled ruefully. "Sorry, Ali. You've been there with me through every failed relationship of mine."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," I told her affectionately. I got back to scooping sugar into the container bowls, in case Lou emerged from the kitchen and started yelling about how he wasn't paying me to chit chat with Jayna.

"Thanks, Ali. You're the best." Jayna reached over to squeeze my arm affectionately before she went on, "So yeah, Harrison. He's awesome and we're great together. Yet, the most basic thing is standing between Harrison and I." She let out a dramatic sigh. "With him being who he is, I'd never be able to have a normal relationship."

"Define normal?"

"Well, you know. He'd always be away, and we wouldn't be able to do regular couple-y stuff like going to the movies, having dinner together every other night and going for grocery runs on weekends. I'd never be able to post couple pictures or videos without inviting a ton of scrutiny and worrying about those things falling into the wrong grubby hands. Relationships are hard enough as they are. Add to that the long distance and stardom factors, and you're just setting yourself up for a difficult, emotionally-taxing time."

I stabbed at a mini sugar mountain with a spoon, thinking. "I suppose so. You'd have to be willing to make all kinds of sacrifices and also take a leap of faith..."