Louder than bombs, Jinx x oc fem reader

10. Genesis

Y/Ns pov.

I didn't bother to look Jinx in the eyes since the incident from a few minutes ago, neither did she, even so, I could feel the tension between us.

By now we were already stepping near the guard who stood in front of the brothel door. His eyes immediately fell onto Jinx's tiny figure, yet, the man didn't dare to open his mouth and got out of the way as soon as his eyes met with hers. Thats when I realized that she must've scared a huge amount of folks in Zaun, as they wouldn't even bother to question her. I wanted that.

I wanted this city to respect me too, to look at me with flaming respect in their eyes and hearts as soon as our eyes would meet. Just like this dude did to Jinx.

After what looked like a minute, my figure was already striding through the hallways of the brothel towards the red door where the lady should be. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly peeking through the tiny and almost transparent curtains as Jinx walked in front of me, her long blue braids softly swung and I focused on that.

Finally, she stopped right in front of the door forcing me to raise my brows in confusion. I lifted my hands in question and she tossed her head in the direction the door stood," this one is yours", Jinx whispered with a grin.

A quiet scoff left my lips, but I didn't protest, swinging my bat onto my shoulder and poking my tongue out to Jinx as if to tell her that I'll rock this job, "show off", she mocked my words from the day that I got stabbed and with a fake smirk on my face, I did not bother to use the knob, kicking the door and swinging it open with a thud when it crashed into the wall from the impact.

The lady flinched as she sat on her table, both of her legs crossed elegantly and her eyes wide as she took in the sight of Jinx and me in her office already," what are you doing here?", her voice didn't give out any fear as she took a smoke from her cigar.

My nose scrunched in disgust," you're late with the rent", I gritted out, trying to keep it cool and not beating the shit out of her bratty ass. Jinx being here made me focus though, she calmed me down only by being by my side

Her brow rose," I swear I'll pay it in the next forty-eight hours", The lady shook her head.

I opened my mouth slightly, ready to talk but nothing came out, and before I could calmly talk with her, Jinx seemed to have other plans as she pulled out her pistol and placed it into my palm," shoot her".

My eyes widened at Jinx's words. I never minded killing people, but only those who really deserved it, not the ones who are innocent or didn't pay their little rent for two months. I lived in dumpsters and cold streets too once, would never wish that for someone else.

"W-what?", I chuckled nervously, she has to be playing me again, right? She doesn't want me to kill the lady for real, right? Don't be dumb, of course, she does, why would she give you a gun otherwise?

Her blue orbs that I loved so much stared directly into my silver ones, the sweet and childish look was replaced by a dark and angry one, " I said, kill her, right now", she tossed her head at the frightened lady who didn't dare to move an inch.

What looked like a minute passed, only me starting at the pistol in my palms and biting my already bloody lip," I can't", I managed to let out. As much as I wanted to satisfy Jinx and show her that I'm capable of doing a good job, I couldn't shoot an innocent woman. And I hated it, oh God how much I hated not being good enough.
The pain boiled in my chest, perhaps mixing with the emptiness? Or is that not even possible?

I don't know what I felt, it was too hard to understand it myself, I only knew that it hurt so bad that all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. By not killing this woman I'll show Jinx that I can't be good enough for the job.

Before she could speak again the door opened revealing a face of a young man that I had never seen before. The smile on his face was wept when Jinx came at him swinging, yet, she only punched him once, gripping his shoulder and pushing him onto his knees before me," kill him then", our eyes met and I felt like I had no other choice," do it. Now".

With that, I aimed the gun at the dude's head, right in between his brows," no! Dont! Please!" I shut out the shaky whispers of the begging lady.

"C'mon, Y/N, do it for me", the smirk she had on her face was distracting me, she looked hot, so Goddamn hot.

My eyes closed shut and with a sigh from my lips, I dared to look the dude straight in the eyes, his orbs shimmered and looked as if he was begging for me not to shoot him, yet, I still pulled the trigger for the girl that I've met only a couple of days ago, and surprisingly, I could destroy myself a million times for her.

The warm blood splashed onto the walls, creating a beautiful piece of art with red color that looked so cruel, and I felt something strange in my chest. It's a feeling hard to describe because I enjoyed it, yet, the guilt curled up in my stomach and I felt as if I was about to throw up.
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" you shot him right in the face, toots!", Jinx let out a couple of laughs, giving out that she was proud of my actions earlier. Skipping she gripped my hand, smiling hard and gazing at the top of the buildings of Zaun. Her actions never seemed to give out that she was tensed or even sad for what happened before we even visited the brothel like it never actually did.

I could still feel her lips on mine, but the guilt in my head dominated and I focused on that, just starting forward and being silent the whole way to the last drop.

As we reached the door of the pub, I could feel Jinx's worried glance my way, yet, she didn't say anything and deep inside I knew that she felt bad for me. The thought of her pitying me held my chest tight, never have I imagined that being pitied would feel so painful.

"You go, I'll hang out by the counter for a while", I put on a fake smile, trying hard to not let her see my weak side. Jinx only looked back at me, stopping in her tracks, thinking about something carefully before she nods hesitantly and leaves for Silcos office.

What looked like a minute, I just stood there watching her disappear into the darkness where the neon lights of the pub didn't reach. With a sigh, I let myself relax and saunter to the bartender plopping down onto the same chair I usually sit in," as usual", my two fingers rose, motioning the guy to make my favorite drink, and he nodded immediately.

It was hard to think about how guilty I felt for killing that man, so I choose to focus on the thoughts of Jinx. The way she didn't even show a slight bit of sadness after I told her that our fun was a mistake bothered me to the core. I know she said it was only for fun and I couldn't help but feel a piece of my heart getting broken at the thought of her not feeling the same shit that I felt for her.

A bunch of emotions mixed in my stomach, chest, and head, pushing me to feel hopeless. I felt the lack of air in my lungs and my breathing got heavier as the emotions that I haven't felt in so long swallowed me at once. It hurt. It hurt so goddamn bad. And I knew what I needed. I needed Jinx and only her, nothing else in this world.