Louder than bombs, Jinx x oc fem reader

11. Feeling

Jinxs pov.

"What have I told you? She didn't like it".

My knees were curled up into my chest while I silently sat onto the table in Silcos office, listening to Mylo's words about Y/N and hugging my legs tightly.

The thought of not being good enough for someone is painful, but when it comes to Y/N, it not only hurts so bad but also makes me want to blow up myself, it made me want to throw a tiny bomb into my brain and never feel anything again. So by hugging my knees tightly to myself, I helped myself feel safer.

Silco wasn't here, the moment I stepped into his office it was quiet and deserted, leaving only me and Mylo in it. I kept repeating the same words Y/N said earlier," it was a dumb mistake, she said", my voice mocked the girl that made me feel so confused about my feelings," letting you fuck me was a mistake, she said", I repeated angrily, lifting my hand and shoving a mug off of Silcos table.

"You heard her, she would never love someone like you", Mylo spoke again tearing my heart into tiny pieces with his harsh words. It's only been a couple of days since I met her, but it already felt as if we were together our whole life. Near her the world didn't seem so bad, I felt safe and not like I'll fuck something up. I felt as if we belonged with each other.

"She never said that", I gritted out, frowning and pursing my lips in anger and pain.

" think about it, she will only make you weak".

I gripped my hair tightly, growling at him and all the emotions in my head. I wanted to shut him up, yet, I only chose to believe his every word again.

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Y/Ns pov.

I babbled some random shit under my breath as my cheek was pressed against the dirty counter. After three drinks the bartender named Thieram mixed up for me, I was already drunk as a skunk, my body relaxed and my mind foggy with dizziness curling inside.

My brows shot up and my eyes flew to the woman that just got near the bar, ordering something I never tasted. Beside me stood Sevika and when her glance fell on me she immediately frowned with a sigh," what are you doing here kid?", she asked with an annoyed tone, rolling her silver eyes.

I sat managing to sit up straight, a hiccup left my lips and I smiled dreamily, swaying my head gently. With a long shrug, I let her understand that I was drunk badly.

Her eyes searched something in mine for a few moments, probably thinking what to do with me. This time she let out a really long sigh and patted my back before sliding her hand over my arm, placing it behind her shoulder," come on, kid, let's take you home".

One exhausted nod of my head and I let Sevika lead me to the exit of the pub, not realizing those blue orbs that I loved so much watched us intensively," what are you doing?".

Jinx's low voice scared the shit out of me, yet, I didn't flinch, my head was too dizzy to even register what was happening right now as I stared at the girl whose eyes flashed with fury while she darted them between Sevika and my figure in her arms.

For a moment I swear I could see how anger flamed in her veins, but she kept it calm surprisingly.

"I'm just trying to help this kid. Don't make a scene, Jinx", Sevika gritted through her teeth and I just stayed quiet, my eyes following every move Jinx made as she lazily walked up to us. Her head rose to look up at the big woman that held my drunk figure.

" I'll bring her home", Jinx didn't even bother to hide the anger and frustration in her voice. My head didn't stop spinning even for a second and I just let them figure this out themselves, leaning into Sevika as I began to feel sleepy.

Sevikas grip on my hand that was thrown over her shoulder tightened when she sucked in a deep breath," I don't think shes safe with you".

Even if I was so dizzy and drunk I could still make out the words they said," no, I want to go with Jinx", I blurted out lazily, not even thinking before saying it. It came out almost automatically and to be honest, with Jinx I felt safer than with anyone else in this world.

The anger and flames in Jinx's eyes softened immediately after hearing my words. The tension that seemed to swallow her shoulders now was loosened," get your fat hand off of her", her nose scrunched cutely. She didn't even wait for Sevika who was letting out a scoff to take her hand off and Jinx's soft palm slid around my torso taking me into her hold," there", an almost unnoticeable smile tugged her lips when she finally got to hold me beside her.

Jinx held me tight, and her nails seemed to dig into my skin as she helped me limp back to her place," someone was jelly", I smiled to myself, singing the words out drunkenly with my eyes squinted. My own thoughts were not being able to stay quiet while the confidence shot through my body from the whole alcohol in my system.

The girl that I knew was annoyed by now, huffed out, but didn't respond making me giggle lightly. For five minutes there was nothing, no chat, not even a glance my way, only our sloppy footsteps echoed through the empty lanes. Perhaps from the boredom, my eyes fell onto her delicate neck wishing I could taste and mark it with my lips, then they peeked to those perfect blue orbs from the side.

Her eyes were the most beautiful ones I've seen, and even if she was a murderous terrorist, when I looked into her eyes there was no sign of that, I could only see the pain and guilt, a broken person trying to live on.

I felt a spark of sadness twist in my empty stomach, willing to do probably anything to cheer her up or make her feel better. I didn't know why I felt like this as if I was ought to protect this girl at any cost. We met just a few days ago, how could I be so attached to her already?

Finally, after what looked like twenty minutes we were back at her place. Jinx's fingers hooked onto my pants after she laid me onto the soft mattress pulling them off with a pout on her lips from the exhaustion. Of course, I didn't let it slide through my eyesight," will you sleep with me?", I let a pout of my own creep onto my face.

Jinxs expression seemed to loosen and soften at the same time as she nodded her head very gently. Kicking off her boots and hopping onto the bed beside me, she smiled sweetly, both of her hands sliding over my figure and pulling me close to her.

Feeling sleepy didn't stop me from staring at her face as her eyes were on my own, watching the way I blinked every now and then. Everything happened so fast and I couldn't register who was the one to crash their lips on others first.

A shiver shuddered down my spine at her cold touch on my waist when she tugged me into her, forcing our bodies to rub against each other while our lips devoured others.

Not waiting for longer I pulled away, leaving a trail of kisses down her chin to her soft neck. Jinx's breath hitched as I began biting and sucking onto it, my hand stroking her inner thigh going higher and higher each time and my own crashing together when my core began throbbing with desire.

Just before I crashed my lips back onto hers, her palm on my chest stopped me in my tracks," you're drunk, toots", Jinxs voice was shaky and breathless and I knew she wished this went further, yet, something in her mind didn't let her do so.

My brows crashed together, but I just let it go, respecting her choice and humming in response as my head snuggled into the crook of her neck that was covered in tiny splotches of perfect purple and blue.

Before dozing off, a million thoughts ran through my dizzy mind, wondering how Jinx feels when I'm beside her and if she could ever let herself feel what I feel towards her.