Love Like This

Just Makes Sense

A/N: I was chilling at work and thought to myself, "someone should update". Then I remembered that someone is me so since I love Olivia the sponsor so here's something for Liv and Jen.

Jen had been the person to ask. Not the first to ask but the first to get an actual answer. What was it about Olivia and Spencer that made their relationship work?

Olivia was an addict. No matter how long she'd been sober, her addiction was always going to be a part of her life and yet, Olivia had found someone who loved her completely. Loving Olivia meant loving her as not only the happy and healthy versions of herself but the version of herself that had hard days and struggled to fight her urges, and Spencer loved her at all points.

"How did you do it?" Jen asked softly.

Olivia tilted her head to the side in confusion. "How'd I do what?"

"How did you find a guy that's able to love you through your addiction?"

Olivia sat up, turning to give Jen her undivided attention. It was never easy to have these conversations, especially with another addict that wasn't experiencing the rare, intentional type of love that Olivia was showered with by Spencer. Jen had been sober for years now, and Olivia was beyond proud of all of the hard work that she'd put in to battle her addiction, but Jen had a really bad break up recently and now was showing signs of a potential relapse. Liv was spending more time with Jen, doing her best to be the present sponsor she wished Leslie would have been when she relapsed in high school.

"If I'm honest," Olivia began. "Spencer met me when I was straight out of rehab. He's never met the version of me that wasn't an addict and that was hard to accept at first. I wanted to be perfect for him because I thought that he deserved perfection from me when all he wanted was for me to be happy and healthy."

Olivia moved so that she could offer Jen her hand to hold as physical support, knowing that the story she and Spencer had was rare, and that Jen needed to know that while having a relationship was possible, it required a lot of work.

"I relapsed right before we started dating. It was alcohol and I tried to convince myself that I had it under control, but I was wrong. I put Spencer in an impossible position, and he still chose to forgive me. I am far from perfect, but I found someone who is able to love me when the imperfect parts of me show more than the perfect ones. Spencer knows that everyday I wake up and chose to fight for my sobriety, so he made the choice years ago to put my sobriety first."

Jen slowly shook her head in defeat.

"Why can't someone love me like that?" She whispered as she thumbed away tears. "I have worked my ass off to stay sober, and every time I think I find someone who understands the importance of my sobriety, they show me I was wrong, and I have to start all over again."

"I dated this guy before Spencer and I got together, Asher. He was friends with my brother and for a while, I believed that nothing was wrong with our relationship when it came to my addiction. Then one day I found out he was taking steroids. It changed how I viewed him. He knew I was in recovery; he didn't think about how his drug use could have compromised my wellbeing. I was mad at him for being so caught up in chasing after his sports goals that he was willing to risk his own health and wellness all while he was playing a dangerous game with my own. I was angry then, but I know now that other people using drugs and alcohol isn't my trigger."

Olivia had made her peace with Asher years ago, and while she harbored no ill will towards him, he still played a key role in her battle with addiction. It was important for Jen to know that she could trust her gut and her instincts, if she believed that something or someone, she needed to have the confidence to trust her gut.

"Sobriety isn't easy Jen. It doesn't get easier to be an addict in recovery, you just learn to cope and manage better. In order to do that you have to allow yourself to feel all the things you try to avoid, you have the hard conversations, and you don't compare yourself to others." Liv wanted nothing more than for Jen to be loved the way that Spencer loved her, or Jordan loved Simone, but Jen also had to be ready to receive that love in order for it to thrive. "Jen, love isn't easy. I know that Spencer and I make it look like we've perfected it, but we have hard days too. I fell in love with a man that is always willing to give his last to others, even if that means he has to suffer. I constantly battle with myself about whether or not to be proud of the heart that Spencer has or angry that other people still take advantage of his kindness. He fell in love with a woman that is headstrong to a fault. Do you know how often I push that man to his limit? But he chooses to stick it out with me."

Liv wrapped her arms around Jen in a hug, comforting her to the best of her abilities.

"I wasn't looking for Spencer when I met him. He just came into my life and changed everything. It might be good for you to stop looking and let your next love come to you." Liv said as she handed Jen a tissue.

The sound of the front door opening caused the girls to turn and face the door, watching as Spencer came in carrying four cups of coffee and holding open the door for Nurse Joy.

Nurse Joy greeted them both before pulling Jen into a hug, giving Liv the chance to greet Spencer. Before Liv could say anything, Spencer pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight and handing her a coffee cup. He placed the other cups on the table before returning his attention to Olivia.

She didn't way a word, she just allowed his presence to bring her peace.

"We can talk about it, or not talk about it. Whatever you need." Spencer whispered to her.

Liv couldn't hide her smile, remembering a time that she was saying the exact same thing to him. She quickly glanced at Jen, relieved to see her smiling. Liv was living proof that it was possible to still get your happy ending if you got out of your own way.

"I'm just glad you walked into my biology class without your laptop Spencer James." Liv said back, returning his warm embrace.

"Best day of my life." Spencer returned before kissing the top of her head. "I'm not going to stay long, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. I can only imagine how hard this has been for you since you love Jen so much."

Liv hadn't said a word about what she and Jen had been discussing but somehow Spencer just knew. He always knew what to say.

Liv turned in Spencer's hold so that she was facing Jen, getting Jen's attention easily.

"Jen, choose the guy that knows you better than you know yourself. The one that knows exactly what to say without you having to say a word. That's what I did." Liv said as she leaned more of her weight onto Spencer, knowing that he'd never let her fall. Jen's eyes took in the sight of Olivia not only trusting Spencer, but trusting the decision she made to be with Spencer, and it clicked. In order to find the type of love she was searching for, she first had to see herself as worthy of that kind of love.

Being an addict will never go away. It's not something that Liv or Jen will grow out of, it's woven into their DNA now. Love will always be something that they deserve, that will never go away. It's something that they have always been worthy of, regardless of what their addiction tries to tell them.

A/N: Until next time friends, thanks for reading.