Lucky Me

Big Girl Panties Part II

Are we ready for this chapter? I loved writing this! Hope you enjoy reading it xx

LUCY'S POV

I felt the air around me change as he neared my table. My stomach was in knots whilst I waited for this to start. And I just wanted it to be over. "um...." That low voice, the rumble in his chest. It was so familiar, the delicious sounds of his voice. But it made me stomach churn all the more.

CHRIS' POV

"Um, may I?" I asked her, my voice barely above a mumble as I daren't trust it not to break. Her dark chocolatey eyes blinked up to look at mine and I felt my heart constrict. She nodded her head, but chose not to speak. I nodded at her gratefully and slid in the booth with her.

Internally I fought with myself. I wanted to hold her, feel her soft skin against me. But then I remembered why I was here. The living nightmare we were in. Because of me. I frowned at myself in anger, shaking my head- then noticing her looking at me from under her lashes. Almost bashfully, but a little in confusion. Crap. I needed to speak. "um..." How the fuck do I start this?

"I'm-"
"here ya go...one hot cup of Joe" the old lady interrupted me. I frowned again at her timing, but I greatfully took the cup. "thanks" I smiled at her. But her eyes were on Lucy. "You Ok Sugar?" she asked Luce, to which she nodded back, "yeah" she smiled, clearly they had some sort of relationship. Yet I wasn't sure how deep that was. "you want anything to eat? Bacon? Pancakes? You still off eggs?" she asked her, making my head dart from the lady to Lucy. I noticed her glance at me out the corner of her eye but she looked back to the woman and smiled. "I'm good for now Barbie, thanks" she smiled and then with a wink the lady left us once again.

My hands were wrapped around the cup, the heat radiating up through my skin, only then I realised I was still wearing my sodden hat and coat. My hands cold and damp from the November rain. I released my cup from my grasp and pulled the hat from my head. My longer than usual hair flopped forward, annoyingly so I swept it back off of my face. I placed the hat on the seat on my left, my coat I placed on a nearby empty seat to dry.

Finally I settled back in my seat and I looked back to her. Eyes fixed to the glass in front of her, staring down at it as if she were too frightened to look away. "I've never seen someone be so transfixed on a glass of moo juice before" I found myself saying out loud. Her cheeks flushed and a hint of a smile seemed to threaten her mouth. "you call it moo juice now?" she countered, finally allowing me to hear that pretty voice. Even if it did sound cold towards me. Even just a little. I shrugged and gave her a wide smile. "someone once called it that around me and then it kinda stuck" I said, remembering the first time she called it that in front of me. Her cheeks blushed again and I felt my heart race. I was desperate to talk to her, get her to talk to me, so when the silence came so quickly again, I frantically scrambled for something to say

LUCY'S POV

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out. I was taken aback by his sudden declaration. My eyes wide as I looked up at him. "I ugh...." his hands ran through his long, greasy looking hair. "this...I...this isn't how I planned on doing this...." he muttered under his breath, yet knowing I could hear him. "Doing what exactly?" I asked, "because I don't think we, or especially I planned on doing any of this" I said bluntly. I wasn't entirely sure where this sudden attitude had come from, but like Barbie said; get your big girl panties on....

He looked back at me wide eyed and jaw loose as he gaped at me. I glanced away with irritation. "I came to apologise- to get answers" he said, which obviously grabbed my attention. "Answers?!" I snapped at him, "you came to get answers from me?!" I continued. "You can stick your apology up your ass. I don't need anything from you and I certainly don't need to answer shit to you" I seethed as I went to grab my bag. This was clearly a mistake even allowing him anywhere near me. I was so fucking wrong about him.

"really?!" He whispered angrily at me as he leaned closer, "so you don't need to fucking answer me why you fucking aborted my baby?!" He snarled through his teeth. I froze to the spot as I gripped my bag, ready to shuffle out of the booth. But I looked back at his face in horror. His words lingered in the stale air around us. It felt like everything else around us fell away and I was just focused on his face. His knitted brow, tensed jaw, red bloodshot eyes, filled with anger and unshed tears. He didn't look like the Chris I knew. He didn't sound like the Chris I knew. Was that Chris even real?

CHRIS' POV

Her eyes moved over my face as she clutched her purse in her hand- she was about to walk out on me, but I needed to know. I wasn't going to leave until I had my everything off my chest, one way or another. But I wasn't ready for what she was about to say.

"what?" she finally breathed out. But the anger had dissipated from her voice. I breathed out a hard breath, but didn't repeat the question. I didn't need to, or fucking want to either. I just stared back at her, barely holding things together. "Chris....I...." her eyes full of tears ready to fall as her free hand came to settle on her stomach. I couldn't help but let my eyes follow as I watched her hand cradle her belly. She shook her head, "I'm sorry..." She said, her voice gentle and no more than a whisper.

I felt my heart fall into my gut and the ever growing lump in my throat start getting bigger as my chest tightened and the tears I held were about to fall. I shook my head, not wanting to believe this nightmare was now my reality. "you thought all this time that I'd...that I'd had an abortion?" her words caught in my ear and I broke the stare from her stomach and looked into her eyes. "what? You...you mean?" I stammered, "you're still-"

"pregnant?" She questioned, "yeah..." She said with a teary smile, her bag now dropped from her hand as she clasped both her dainty hands over her belly. "what the fuck?!" I whispered to myself as the tears spilled from my eyes. Relief and disbelief washed over me and I was confused to fuck right now.

"I'm sorry that you thought that? Why did you think that?" she asked me as I wiped away my tears. "ha, I ugh..." I awkwardly laughed as I swiped at my eyes and sniffed my nose. "I can't even remember right now...I don't even know my own fucking name" I sort of chuckled at myself as I wept. "you sure you're still-

"fuck Chris, shut up" She snorted at me. I smiled and nodded. "I feel so fucking stupid right now" I said, hanging my head low. "I am so fucking sorry though Lucy. I-I don't...I have no excuses for my actions, and I'm ashamed of what I've done, and how I've treated you" I finally was able to tell her and it felt amazing. "these last weeks have been hell for me- I have no idea how you must have been feeling. And it kills me to know that I made you feel this way. After all we've been through, and all my promises that I wouldn't hurt you. A-and I don't know how I can ever make this right- I don't deserve you" I confessed, hoping that somewhere in my words she knew that I meant it, and that I was truly sorry.

LUCY'S POV

I sat there and listened. I listened to his words, to his apology and everything else in between. And I waited. I waited for my turn to speak. "I don't deserve you" he said, his red rimmed eyes looking up at me. I could see he was sorry, but it didn't erase the hurt and pain I had been going through. Everything he had done, and the reason why he had done it. "You don't deserve me, you're right" I agreed with him. "you can't ever erase what you did Chris. Or how you made me feel. You let me down in one of the worst ways you could have" I sniffed, saying the words out loud to him made the tears start falling again. "Luce, Sweetheart" he reached out to take my hand but I backed up. "you might be the father of my baby Chris, nothing would change that. But me and you? We're done" I grabbed my bag once again off the seat, and quickly, I slipped out of the booth and throwing a ten on the counter top for Barbie, I was gone before Chris could even remember what the fuck his own name was.