Lucky Me

The Doctor's Office

Lucy's POV

"are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Charlie asked as we sat outside of the building. I was staring out at the looming structure in front of us through the rain soaked wind shield. It had been pouring down with rain for the last 2 days straight. "nah" I sighed, before looking back at her. "I will be okay" I sighed, not sounding all too sure. "I'll be waiting right out here" she said, grabbing my hand before I opened the door. I looked back at her and sent a nervous smile before climbing out of the car.

........

"Lucy Armstrong?" My name was called out in the semi quiet waiting room. My head shot up and I looked over at the tall blonde lady who was waiting for whoever the name belonged to, to stand up. A smile etched on her face as her blue eyes sought me out. "would you liek to follow me?" she asked, holding her clip board tightly to her chest. Not really I thought, my nerves slowly starting to get the better of me. Yet my feet followed after hers, and I was soon led into her little office.

Posters of the reproductive system, a cross section of a pregnant woman and all that lovely pregnancy stuff decorated the walls around us. I swallowed hard and looked away as I took a seat in front of her desk. The tranquillity in here would be something to be desired- but today I wasn't feeling in an appreciative mood.

"relax Lucy, it's okay" her gentle voice assured me as she took her seat on the other side of the desk. I gave her a wobbly smile and she clasped her hands on the desk. "I have countless ladies that come in here feeling just as bewildered as you." she said, "it's perfectly normal" she added. "is it perfectly normal that the father doesn't actually know yet?" I looked up into her eyes, waiting for the judgement, yet it never appeared. "you'd be surprised" she replied. "now, before we get to that, shall we just get a few details on the system, so I can find a little bit more about you?" she asked, steering the conversation away from the ugly dark elephant in the room.

........

I glanced at the clock, surprised that I had only been in here 20 minutes. We'd been through my family history, my personal specifics and I'd taken a pee for her to test. Delightful.

"okay, I think we have most of the details that I need from you. I just need to work out dates, and see how far along you are" she said with a bright smile. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I fiddled with the ends of my scarf. The clicking of her fingertips on the keyboard cut the silence in the room as I waited for her announcement.

"alright. Okay..." she said, sounding rather surprised. I looked up at her with my brows knitted together. "this is working out that you're already 9 weeks pregnant" she declared, looking across the desk at me. My mouth dropped open and I stared at her blankly. "your due date is estimated at around April 16th" she added, moving to write something down on my notes.

But I just sat there staring at her. "b-but...I can't be" I almost whispered. Her blue eyes moving up away from the desk, "how- wouldn't I have known? How did I not know?" I questioned, feeling even more embarrassed. I ran my hands over my face as I tried to take in the shock information. "Lucy, many women don't know that they're pregnant until other less obvious symptoms show."

"but 9 weeks?!" I whispered, feeling nausea flow through me, not for the first time either. "we were careful...I...I'm on the pill..." I muttered to myself, not managing to accept what was happening right now. "I thought we were safe" I sniffed, throwing my head in my hands again. but soon a gentle pair of warm, soft hands pulled mine away from my face and I looked up to see the doc kneeling in front of me. "it's okay" she hushed me, holding my hand. "do you need me to call someone?" she offered but I shook my head. "it's fine. Thank you" I sniffed, attempting to smile at her, "I have my friend in the car waiting for me" I nodded. "I just, it was a shock anyway, but knowing I'm 2 months pr..I'm 2 months already...It's...it's just a mess" I breathed out, doing my very best to keep my tears at bay. "I'll get you some water" The doctor said, before getting up and leaving the room.

.........

When she returned, with a glass for me, I had managed to collect myself somewhat. "have you got a good support system at home?" she asked me, leaning back in her chair. I nodded, smiling a little. "I have my best friend, my mom, sister..." I nodded. "how about the father?" she asked, obviously aware how sensitive I was. I took a breath and shrugged. "We've had a somewhat troubled start- he lives in Boston... we tried the long distance thing and it didn't work out for me. But somehow we ended up back together. Not for very long either. I'm not sure how he's going to handle this" I sighed. "well, at the end of the day, this is your decision. Your body. Your baby. No matter what anyone else says, you have to do what's right for you" she said, looking right into my eyes. But I frowned. "you mean..?" I couldn't bring myself to say it, and unconsciously I brought my hand to my stomach. I breathed out a deep breath, "I-I didn't even think of that as an option" I admitted. I mean, is it an option?

"you need to think about things. It's your life that it is going to impact the most. You need a strong support system behind you, whether you choose to do this alone, or with the father. It's not too late to make a decision, or to change your mind. But when you have made it, you need to be 1000% sure that it's the right one for you." she told me, the conversation taking a turn I wasn't at all expecting. I swallowed hard and nodded. "but before anything else, you need to be honest with the father, for your sake and his"

...........

I walked out of the building in some sort of daze. Clutching my jacket in my hand, and the leaflets she had given me in the other, I sort of wobbled out into the pouring rain in a zombified state. A million and one thoughts clashed in my brain, and I kinda of didn't know which way was up. I'd gone in there hoping I would gain some clarity of some kind, but I came out even more unsure about the world, never mind about my decision.

"Luce...." Charlie sighed with relief as I somehow located her car in the midst of my brain fog. I shut the door and looked up at her, those bright green eyes showing me all the concern she held- along with her breath. I blinked the rain water from my lashes and sniffed, "9 weeks...I-I'm 9 weeks..."

The concern Charlie held in those green orbs soon turned to surprise, "oh my god" she gasped, "Luce" she grabbed my hands in hers, "are you-" but I didn't let her finish that sentence because I let the barriers down and the tears poured. "aww sweetie, it's okay" she hushed me, pulling me against her. "I'm here, it's okay" she cooed, rocking me a little. "sh-she said that I had options..." my voice coming out muffled against her sweater. "th-that I c-could have a termination if I wanted..." I breathed, as Charlie let me free. I sat up and swiped my eyes. "is that what you want?" she asked, searching my eyes, waiting for my answer.