Lucky Me

Messed Up

CHRIS' POV

I scrambled out of the booth, leaving my hat and coat at the table as I raced out of the diner after her. 

"LUCY!!" I yelled across the parking lot, my eyes searching for her through the heavy downpour. I looked across the dimly lit area and saw her running back towards the Conservatory staff parking area. So I didn't think twice and I ran as fast as I could after her. 

LUCY'S POV

"LUCY!" I heard his voice faintly through the sound of the rain falling around me. Like I expected him to just let me walk away, but I couldn't do this right now. The stress wasn't good for me or my ever growing baby inside of me. I made it all the way to my car, unlocking the door I yanked it open and climbed inside. I shut the door and threw my purse onto the back seat. The sound of the rain hitting the roof echoed inside the car, making me feel so alone, in a strange way. My head fell forward as I sobbed. He was still out there, calling after me. I hated him for how he made me feel. How he treated me. But I was still sitting here. Allowing him to gain on me. To get close enough that he was now at my car door. 

Yet he didn't open it. He didn't yell. He didn't knock. 

The rain was relentless. Hitting the windshield, the windows. It seemed like it was getting louder, and heavier. But he didn't do anything but stand at the passenger window. Kneeling down to try and see me through the glass. The rivulets of water running down the glass, distorting the image of him. He pressed his large palm to the window. "Sweetheart." His voice barely audible over the rain out there, "I know you must hate me" He sighed, his head hung low made it harder still to hear him. "but I promise you, you couldn't hate me more than I hate myself." his words probably uttered by more men in this world than should be appropriate. And the cynical side of me believed all those men to be bullshitting. But I wasn't sure about the man at my window right now. "I don't expect you to want to listen to me, to talk to me or believe what I have to say; but you truly are my world. I'm not worthy of your time, or your love. I know that!" He yelled through the rain. "Fuck, I knew that I wasn't worthy of you from the moment I met you! I try so fucking hard to be what everyone expects of me! To wear a smile when every part of my world is falling down, because of me! Because of what I did! and I just let everyone down! I let you down! I let our, our baby down!" he cried out, allowing his forehead to hit the glass. "Darlin' I love you more than anything is this world, and it fuckin' breaks my heart that I hurt you. And I can't take it back. I can't be this person I'm expected to be. That I try to be for everyone! I just- I'm sorry Luce. Sweetheart. I'm sorry, I love you..." He trailed off, causing my head to turn to look at where he once knelt. Seeing the blurry image of him disappearing into the dark of the night. 

My heart was shattered, I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. The Morning sickness was taking its toll on me now, and hiding it from people was still draining too. I just wanted to go to bed right now and forget about the last 4 hours of my day. The heaviness was slumped over me as I started the engine, the wipers coming to life, squeaking over the windshield as they attempted to clear my view of the rain pebbled glass. I turned my lights on and fastened my belt before I pulled out of my parking space. 

CHRIS' POV

The chug of an engine slowly grew louder behind me as I wandered through the dark parking lot in a daze. I didn't bother looking round, I didn't want to watch her drive away from me. Leaving me alone and broken- I just wanted to wallow in my own pity. But when the noise remained at a constant and her car didn't move beyond me, I couldn't help but glance round. 

Her passenger window rolled down, causing me to lean over to peek inside. The rain dripped off my eyelashes as I blinked away trying to focus on her. "where are you staying?" She called out to me. I hesitated a moment before answering her. "a hotel other side of town...." I lied, looking away to my feet. "what?!" She shouted, not sure if that was in surprise or she couldn't hear me clearly. "Where's your car now?" she asked, leaning across the console towards her open window. I raised my head and nodded in the direction of the Diner. She stayed there looking at me for a second, like she was having an internal debate before she said "Meet me at my house" and then driving off leaving me watching her car drive off in the rain.