My lips touch his again and it's a lot more rough. I know we both need this, we both crave the others touch. It's intoxicating. He pushes the straps of my dress down to my hips and he reaches out and palms my breasts in both his hands.
A small moan...
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I shouldn't be do this.
I promised myself after it had gotten out of hand that one time, that I would stop. Well, fuck that. I can't stop, I've never been able to stop. Smuggling drugs onto this trip wasn't the plan but my heart decided to do the thinking for me instead of my head and my heart really fucking wanted to snort Molly.
It was probably a bad idea to do this in my bedroom, right next to Aria's room but I was desperate. The withdrawal stage hadn't hit me but I was sure her visit was sure to arrive if I didn't get my next hit.
I crushed the two pills on the Chester drawer next to my bed and lined it up using my old credit card. Getting the rolled up, paper tube, I placed it over the powder. And then I sniffed.
The powder immediately went to my brain, making everything hazy. I laid down the floor next to my bed, smiling lazily to myself.
I don't even remember why I started taking drugs. I don't remember the main reason as to why I accepted the joint from the random dude at the bar, I just remember being fucking angry and wanting the pain to disappear. I wanted to forget about Aria and the shithole my life had become. I wanted to forget about Aiden and I wanted to wallow in self-pity. But neither of them was an actual reason to throw away my football career to pursue a job as a full-time addict. I left my hometown and ran away from my problems and responsibilities. I left my family and friends, I left the only girl I ever loved because I thought that occasionally getting high was better than that life I had spent years building for myself.
I guess, in some ways it was. With drugs, I don't have a care in the world, I don't have to think about anything. The heavy hand squeezing my heart had temporarily been lifted.
It's really hot in here. On my feet, stumbling. Window, open. Cool breeze. Heartbeat. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Faster. Thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump. Faster. Thu-
"Jacob?" Aria. Beautiful. Beautiful Aria. "Is everything okay? I heard a bang."
I was on the floor. How did I get onto the floor? Didn't I get up? How long have I been on the floor for? Heartbeat. Thump-thump-thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump-thump.
"Jacob?" Footsteps. Aria, kneeling down. Her hands on my face. My name called again. She's lifting me up now. Her arms are comfortable. I lay in her arms. We sit on the floor, in each other's arms. Tingles. But not from the ecstasy. From this woman. I love her.
"Aria?"
"Yeah?"
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
"You're my every thought." Silence. "My entire being. My whoooole world." My hands are on my chest. Now they're moving. Aria's face. Her skin is smooth. "Like a babies butt." Giggling. It's me, I'm giggling.
