My lips touch his again and it's a lot more rough. I know we both need this, we both crave the others touch. It's intoxicating. He pushes the straps of my dress down to my hips and he reaches out and palms my breasts in both his hands.
A small moan...
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Jacob followed me into his flat, closing the door behind him. I take a deep breath, running my fingers throgh my thin, dark hair before resting my palms on my hips. Bowing my head, my spine locked when I feel his lips resting on the back of my head and his arms wrapping around my waist, pushing my back flush against him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair, and I lean back, letting my eyes flutter to a close as I revel in the closeness of his body. It's a closeness I've missed and a closeness that I'm not ready to lose again. If he continues down this path of drinking and smoking and doing drugs, I'll lose him much sooner than I would like, and just the thought of that destroys me.
My breath shook. "You said you were gonna start rehab." I breathe, peeling his fingers off me and turning to face Jacob. He frowned down at me, the dull light above us shining across his face. I noticed all the spots and scars painting his face, and that pang of guilt hits me again. To better myself, I broke Jacob. I'm not sure I could ever forgive myself.
"I am." He swallowed.
"You were drinking at the pub, though. I thought you wanted to get better, Jacob." I shrugged my shoulders. "I thought you wanted to... you wanted to stop this."
"It's not that simple. You should understand, Aria, that an addiction isn't easy to get over." He tells me, and I frown. Because I do. I do understand. I understand more than most what it's like to have a disease that plagues the mind and that it's so damn difficult to get over it. But he has to try, right? He has to prioritise it, and that means not going into pubs and ordering drinks.
"I know." I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut for a few seconds. "But..." My words get trapped in my throat.
"What?" He huffed, running his palms over his face in frustration. He sounded a little tipsy from the beer that he downed.
I licked my lips. "I don't wanna start anything between us if you're... gonna be high the whole time. I want you, Jacob. Not this- this other version of yourself you've forced yourself to be, alright? I want you, and I'm willing to take you however you are, but that doesn't mean I can't help you."
"What are you even saying?" He scoffed, turning away from me. I dragged my tongue over my teeth, trying to hold my emotions together. I told myself not to blame this on myself. I told myself that I'm not at fault for his actions, but I couldn't help but continue to feel that heavy weight on my chest. It got heavier and heavier as the days went by.
"I'm saying that I want you to get help, Jacob!" I was so tired. So very tired of going over the same thing again and again.
"I told you I'm planning on going to rehab! What more do you want from me?" He frustratingly runs his fingers through his hair. I take a small step back. Jacob noticed. "Aria." He breathes.
