Falling Again

Chapter 32

After my shopping spree after my first day back at work, I got home to Jacob sleeping on the couch without a shirt. I smiled to myself, but the smile quickly dropped when I saw the packet of cigarettes on the coffee table next to a bottle of alcohol. I wonder if he took it from the wine cellar or if he bought it. He told me he'd spend the day looking for a job. I'm guessing, by the state of him, it didn't go well.

I knealed down beside him, running my fingers lightly through his hair. "Jacob." I called out, shaking him a little. He grunted and turned slightly. "Jacob." His eyes fluttered slightly before blinking up at me. A smile tugged at his lips.

"Hey." He says, and I dropped my hand as he stretched, a yawn espcaping. "Sorry. I don't remember falling asleep."

"That's alright." I pressed my lips together. "How'd the job searching go?" I asked, and Jacob's smile quickly dropped.

"Shit." He whispered, sitting up and itching his stomach. I stared at him with a small frown. "Sorry. Sorry, I forgot. I just... I don't know." He mumbled, blinking at me guiltily.

I slowly got to my feet, feeling a little awkward. I don't want to say I'm dissapointed in him, especially because it is my fault he's in this state. But... he promised me. This was supposed to be a fresh start for the both of us. We'd be fixing our lives- together.

Jacob gets to his feet, yawning once again. He grabbed his shirt from the other end of the couch and bent over, picking up the packet of cigarettes and pocketing them. "I'm sorry." He repeated, bowing his head and kissing my forehead. I leaned into his touch. "Tomorrow. I promise."

I didn't want him promising me things he couldn't deliver on. It didn't feel right to expect him to do things and need things from him when he is't capable. I know he's probably embarrassed. I'm the successful one, and he's struggling to find a job. It can be de-masculinating for some. Not Jacob, though. I feel for him and I wish I could do whatever to help him.

I think he just wants to be able to provide, to help, and he can't. That's where the problem lays.

Sighing, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I held him closely to myself, hoping he could feel the love radiating off me. Jacob instantly wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me slightly.

I giggled into his neck. A squeal escaped my mouth when he quickly spun me around, lowering me to the couch.

***

My wet hair dripped down my back as I left the shower and wrapped the bath robe tightly around me. Jacob was already in bed by the time I got to our bedroom. We've spent the last few days making space for Jacob's clothes and his items. In a refreshing way, he's brought light to the room.

"Hi." He smiled, and I smiled back before using a towel to wipe my hair and plugging in the hairdryer. Once I was finished with that, I walked into my wardrobe and grabbed some silky pyjamas to wear.

Jacob smirked at me as he leaned on the headboard to watch me. "We should go on a date." I suggested, pulling the bath robe off and letting it drop to the ground. My boyfriend licked his lips, his eyes dragging up and down. "What do you think?" I asked.

"I love it." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "About the date."

"I think it's a good idea. Maybe not to watch a movie?" He teased, reminding me of that day two years ago. It felt like forever that our disaster of a first date occured.

"Ha ha. No, what about dinner?" I asked, shimmying into the red shorts. Jacob's gaze focused on the length of my legs, his eyes shining. "Jacob." I say, in a sing-song voice. His eyes snapped back up to mine, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry. You can't ask me questions when your boobs are staring at me, all perky and pink." He grinned, licking his lips slowly. I huffed, my hands on a hips to give him a proper show.

"Well, get used to looking at them. You're gonna be seeing a lot of them. Will you answer the question?"

"Yes, I will take you on a date." He answered, leaning forward and holding his hand out. I ignored it, slipping on the shirt and buttoning it up. "Tease." Jacob grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He blinked at the covers, a small frown on his face. His demeanour changed quickly.

"Jacob? What's wrong?" I asked, crawling into the bed beside him and pulling the duvet over my cold legs. I rested a hand on his bicep.

"I'm sorry about today." He turns his head to face me, his lips twitching. I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay. Shit happens, and I'll never hold it against you."

"Okay. Thanks." He hummed, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. He curled his arm around me, running the tip of his fingers up and down my arm. "I promise to get my shit together. I'm just... struggling a little."

"That's okay. I'm here, you know that." I tilted my head to grin up at him, and Jacob smiled down at me, his eyes shining. I took notice of the blemishes on his skin. The small marks and the spots- all the signs of the drugs he was taking.

"What about dinner?" He asked, and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

Jacob laughed, rubbing his eyes with his spare hand. "For the date. Will dinner be good? Over the weekend?" He asked, and I tried and failed to hide the blush that crept up the side of my neck and onto my cheeks.

"Yes, dinner is good." I admitted, and Jacob shook his head with a heavy sigh before reaching out and tilting my chin up.

"I love you." He whispered, lowering his lips onto mine. I hummed into the kiss, practically melting in his arms.

"Mmm. I-" Another kiss. "Love you-" And another. "Too." I grinned against his lips, and Jacob digs his fingers into my hair.

"You taste fucking delicious." He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I had to remind myself that my body was sore and tired from our escapades before my shower. I'm sure I could go another round, however.

"You sure you're not too tired?" I teased, and Jacob grumbled something before gripping my thigh tightly and pulling me onto his lap. I squealed, wrapping my arms tightly around him.

"I've got a lot of stamina, woman."

"Oh, yeah? Prove it."