Falling Again

Chapter 31

Aria and I packed up our shit and left for Haywood. It was always the plan to go and live with her in her mansion. Imagine that. Going from a shitty flat at the edge of the city to a fucking mansion. The mansion she spent her entire childhood in. It was insane.

It also meant seeing my parents more often. It meant grieving the loss of a family member together after two years. It meant having to remember Aiden and not block him out of my mind with alcohol as a way of keeping him alive in my mind.

Aria unlocked the front door as I pulled our suitcases in and paid the taxi driver. "You didn't have to do that." Aria sighed, as she closed the door behind her. "Pay the taxi."

"I wanted to." I shrugged my shoulders, looking around. It's been so long since I've been here, and almost everything has changed. She'd redecorated. I liked it. "It looks nice here." I sighed, before my eyes fell back onto her. She chewed on her bottom lip before stepping towards me.

"You think?" She asked, her nose scrunching.

"I do." I smiled. "Now, we should talk about bills and shit." I huffed, placing the suitcases on the ground and resting my hands on my hips. Aria rolled her eyes as she breezed past me and through the huge space. I followed after her, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Don't be silly. I'll pay the bills." She says as she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

"Okay, but I wanna help. Pay... half, at least." I murmured. My jaw clenched. It felt so de-masculating to be having this conversation with her, but I haven't exactly been in the best financial position in recent years. I felt ashamed, in a way. As though it's Aria that should be moving in with me, and it should be me that's providing for her. I want to be that man for her.

Aria chuckled, bringing the glass up to her lips. "Can't you get settled in for a while? You haven't lived here in two years, so give yourself some time to adjust." She shrugged her shoulders before having a drink. I stood opposite her, my arms crossed over my chest.

"What about the electricity? Shopping? I can handle that." I tell her, and I think she could sense the insecurity painted on my face because she takes a heavy breath and licks her lips before agreeing.

"Fine." She pressed her lips together. "As soon as you've got a job, you can help with the electricity." She told me, and I nodded my head. "We can... we can work from there, Jacob, but money is seriously not a problem."

"Mmm." I stalked towards her and pulled her in from her hips. "Especially not when you're a hotshot business woman." I grinned, and she lifted her chin and wiggled her eyebrows. "When are you planning on going back to work?" I asked her, thinking of going out to look for a job at around the same time.

"After the weekend. I've left my company for too long."

"And, you'll be..." I gulped. "You'll be gone for months?" I asked. Aria chuckled and pressed her head to my chest.

"No. If there's anything I've learnt from my parents, it's that if I'm working, I'm working close to home. I won't be leaving those I love just for some extra cash." She murmurs, before lifting her head and smiling up at me. I gazed down at her, my blinking slow. She's so damn beautiful. It still shocked me that she was mine. Finally.

"Aleight, then." Reaching up and lightly skimming my thumb over her soft cheek. "As soon as you get back to work, I'll go job hunting. It only seem fair." I tell her, tilting my head to the side.

"Hmm." She smirked. "And... what do we do in the meantime?" She asked.

I grinned. "I can think of a few things."

***

Aria and I sat on the couch, eating pasta as we watched a show. It seemed to be tradition to do this- a tradition that started two years ago. I glanced at her, noticing how relxed she seemed. It's such a contrast to teenage Aria. She was awkward- always on the edge of the seat. She didn't let herself get too attached because that meant that she'd develop connections she didn't want.

The Aria that sat next to me was no longer afraid. It's what helped me fall in love with her all over again. I'll admit, always beign wary of how she was feeling sucked. It made me feel as though I could never truly be myself around her out of fear that she'd see something she didn't like and push me away. Now, however, I'm unapologetically myself around her, and she's still here. I love her.

"I love this bit." She laughed, leaning forward on the couch and shoving a forkful of red pasta into her mouth. She chuckled a little, and I smiled before leaning back.

Aria didn't know about the bags of drugs I packed into my suitcase. She knows I'm doing it, but she's hanging onto the hope that I'll stop. That I'll come to my senses, but an addiction stays as an addiction until I decide that enough is enough. Until I decide to put a hand up to say, no. That's it, now. Drugs will no longer control me life. I saw the effect of addiction on Laura's brother. How it destroyed their family until he decided to get better.

I'll be damned if drugs are the downfall of Aria and I, but I can't seem to help myself. It's been my coping system for two years, and even though I may not need them anymore, my body craves it.

The drinking is a little easier. I have control of that, but the cigarettes and the drugs... that's a different story.

I place my plate on the coffee table and get to my feet. Aria's eyes lift to mine and she smiled. "I'm just going to the bathroom." I explained, nodding my head at her.

"Okay." She grinned. "Hurry up, though. You'll miss the best bit." She gestured towards the television, and I pressed my lips together before leaving the living room and walking over to the bathroom.

Locking the door behind me, I pulled out the packet that I had stashed in my back pocket, spilling it neatly onto the sink. I glared at my reflection in the mirror opposite me before lining up the powder and lowering my nose onto it.

My eyes squeezed closed. I just needed a release. A small release to keep me grounded enough. A few hits a day wouldn't kill me. In fact, it kept me alive. I just needed to keep it under control for a little while longer until I'm ready to move past this with Aria. then, I can put the drugs and the cigarettes behind me.

Then, I can move forward with Aria by my side instead of against me.