Falling Again

Chapter 15

I close the cabin door behind me, walking into the living room. Jacob was pacing the room, his hands fiddling with each other. As soon as he sees me, he instantly freezes and drops his hands.

"Hey, you feeling better?" He asks, walking towards me. He hesitantly places his hands on my shoulders.

I instantly relax and take a deep breath, exhaling all the negativity from my body and mind.

"Yeah. You?"

"I've sobered up." He whispers, leading us both to the couch. I sit next to him, leaving some space between us.

"I want us to be able to deal with this as adults, Jacob. I don't want to carry on bickering like teenagers or ignoring each other."

"I agree." We both turn to face one another, slowly closing the space between us. "I can't carry on pretending to hate you." He whispers, running a hand over his face.

"Jacob, I lied to you." He raises his eyebrows. "When I said that you were nothing to me, I didn't mean it. I just... I wanted to heal myself so badly, that nothing else mattered to me. But the truth is, you mattered much more." I let out a shaky breath.

"Aria-" He begins.

"Let me finish before I lose my nerve." I whisper, placing my hand on his thigh. Jacob glances from my face to the positioning of my hand, shivering with nerves.

"Of course, go ahead." He nods his head.

"You know I was fucked up as a teenager. I had problems and I didn't accept the help that was offered to me because... I didn't wanna live anymore." I say, my hand shaking. Jacob holds my hands, pressing them together and kissing my knuckles lightly. "And I met you, and suddenly, I had a reason to keep on fighting.

"The bravest thing I ever did... was carry on living when I wanted to die." My voice breaks, and I don't stop the silent tear from falling down my face. Jacob is quiet beside me, his face in a small frown as he continues to look at me. "And I have you to thank for that. Because, if you didn't say my name that day, at the café... I don't think I'd be here right now."

Jacob breathes shakily, pressing a fisted hand to his mouth.

"So... thank you." I whisper, shuffling closer to him and holding his tear stricken face in my hands. "Thank you for entering my life and holding me in place, even when I wanted you to let go. Thank you for continuing to stand next to me and for enduring my pain. Thank you for being there when I needed you, being a shoulder to cry on when I wasn't feeling the best. Thank you."

He nods his head multiple times, leaning into my touch. His eyes close, and his breathes heavily.

"God, Aria." He whispers, opening his eyes to look at me. "I hate that you had to deal with everything by yourself. I hate that I wasn't there-"

"That's not your fault, Jacob. I pushed you away, okay? You did nothing wrong."

"I just... I wish I was there, yeah?" He says, quietly. Rubbing a thumb over my cheek. "I'm sorry about last night. That was... I didn't want you to see me like that."

I take a minute to contain my sheer upset about this whole situation. About everything in our lives that led to this conversation.

"How long have you been doing drugs?"

Jacob blinks at me. "About a year and half."

I contain my disappointment and anger, and nod my head. I won't be irrational about this.

"Okay. And, how many times have you done drugs on this trip?"

"Just the once. Last night. I relied on cigs to get me through."

"Okay." I refuse to show that I'm pissed at the whole drugs and cigarettes dilemma, and try to show him that I'm here for him, through thick and thin. "I can help you. You can't carry in like this. It'll kill you."

"I know. I guess... that's what I was hoping for when I first did it."

"And now? What were you hoping for, last night?" I say, losing the nerve to look him straight in the eyes.

"I was hoping for you. I wanted you... and that was the only way I could remember the feeling of having you."

"You have me, Jacob. You've always had me. I don't think... we ever truly let go of each other." I whisper. He smiles, pulling me in and wrapping his arms around me. I circle my arms around his neck, and we both bask in the comfort of being so close to each other. "Just promise me... promise me you'll stop." I whisper into his neck.

I feel him nod his head and his hand presses into the top of my ribs, and I wince. He immediately pulls back.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asks frantically, scanning my body.

"I need to show you something." I say, standing up and placing my knee on the couch next to his knee. Slowly, I lift up my shirt to the bandage and Jacob sits up, his eyes focusing on my body. "I got a tattoo."

He slowly lifts his hand, his fingers swimming the bandage before he slowly pulls off the plastic liner. He stares at the words permanently etched onto my skin. Jacob's mouth slightly parts before his tilts to the side in confusion.

"I don't get it."

I chuckle. "Trust me, it's about you." I say. Maybe I'm too nervous to tell him the meaning behind the tattoo, or maybe it means too much to me, but for now, I'll hold on to the secret.

"A good thing?"

"It's the first thing I noticed about you, actually."

Jacob smiles, before he stands up himself. His fingers skim my bare waist, and he slowly pulls me towards him. "You know..." He quietly murmurs. "I'm not gonna forgive you that easily."

My smile wavers. "What?"

"There's this thing called grovelling." He grins, and I drop my head to his chest. "Maybe I'll make you beg me."

"You want me to beg you? You want me on my knees for you?" I say, finally looking up at him.

Jacob is staring right at me. "Maybe I do." He says, quietly.

"I'll grovel if I have to. I'm willing to do anything."

Then, there's a grin in his face. "Anything, huh?"

"Yes. Anything. You want me to suck your dick for you? I'll suck your dick."

Jacob shudders slightly. "Let's take it one step at a time, okay?" I nod my head. "I think..." He continues. "You should beg for my forgiveness in front of the others. Let's give them a little show."

A/N: Don't worry, Jacob. Aria will suck your dick. Be patient, my lovely child.

YAAAYYYYY they like each other again!!! How fun.

Give me a couple of chapters to destroy it again.