My lips touch his again and it's a lot more rough. I know we both need this, we both crave the others touch. It's intoxicating. He pushes the straps of my dress down to my hips and he reaches out and palms my breasts in both his hands.
A small moan...
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I pace the living room, my phone balanced in my shaky hands. Where the fuck is he? Where is the man I love? Where is Jacob?
Why hasn't he come home? What kind of trouble has he gotten himself into?
I reach for my phone on the coffee table as I paced the living room, chewing nervously on my nail as I bring up Laura's number. She answered quite quickly. "Hey, Aria! How are you?" She asked, and my eyes fluttered to a close.
"I'm... good." I gulped. "I was calling to ask if you've heard from Jacob, or if... if you've seen him."
"Is he still not home?" The worry entered her voice pretty quickly. "When you called me last night, I assumed he'd be back by the morning. It's not like him to stay out so long."
"I'm not sure." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "This new version of him is completely capable of staying out all night without calling." I mumbled. My wort slowly started to turn into anger. Jacob promised he'd work on it. That he'd get better, but he clearly hasn't.
He is still doing drugs and drinking himself insane every night. I'm even beginning to doubt that he has that job he convinced me he had. It's getting frustrating now. My guilt turns into anger towards the both of us, which only makes me feel even more guilty. It's a horrible cycle that I can't seem to get out of.
"Okay. I'm not sure what to do from Manchester, but I can call around. See if any of our friends from back home have heard from him?" Laura suggests, and I thank the Lord that she's such a rock by my side whenever I need her. "Try not to worry, okay? I'm sure he's fine."
"Thank you so much, Laura." I sighed, feeling tears prick my eyes.
"Of course, Aria. This is Jacob, and I'd basically do anything for the two of you. I really thought-" She chocked up slightly. "I really thought getting back with you would begin to heal him."
"Me too." I whispered. I've only managed to make him worse. It's a testament to my character.
She's silent for a few seconds. "He'll be okay."
"I hope so."
By the time Laura and I had ended our conversation, I knew what I had to do. I haven't spoken to Jacob's parents for two years. I hadn't seen them when Aiden died, and I still haven't seen them since Jacob and I got back together.
They might not be very fond of me, but I had to try. I was close to both of their sons. Maybe we'll understand each other.
Before I could overthink it, I slipped on a coat and left the house, driving over to Jacob's childhood home. I felt that familiar feeling creeping up on me, and it terrified me.
I'm past this, I remind myself. This is in my past, and I refuse to let it consume my future. I e lived and learnt and grew. I'm past this. I'm past this. I'm better. I'm healed. I'm healthy.
