My lips touch his again and it's a lot more rough. I know we both need this, we both crave the others touch. It's intoxicating. He pushes the straps of my dress down to my hips and he reaches out and palms my breasts in both his hands.
A small moan...
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Jacob slowly got worse. I could see it in him whenever he got home late and stumbled into bed beside me. I could see it as the happiness slowly dimmed from his eyes and I was left with a hollow man in the shape of my boyfriend. But he wasn't my boyfriend.
The man lying next to me was not the man I fell in love with. He was someone completely different.
I ran my fingers over his cheek lightly as he slept, feeling the bumps of spots and old, small scars. My breath shook and I felt like crying more than ever in that moment. I wanted to cry for him and for what future he was supposed to have before I fucked it all up. All the guilt that Jacob told me I shouldn't feel suddenly came rolling back and I couldn't help the pain in my chest when I looked at him and realised how easily this all could have been avoided.
If only I understood my feelings. If I only knew that I was in love with him long before my brain caught up. If only I hadn't hurt him beyond repair right after he witnessed his brother kill himself. If only, if only, if only.
I could live with a lifetime of regrets and guilt, but it didn't take away Jacob's pain. It doesn't take away how he's feeling or how he's buried his emotions beneath drugs and alcohol.
Jacob's eyes flickered open, and I smiled shakily at him, hoping he can't read the emotion on my face. He instantly does, leaning up on his elbow with a frown on his face.
"What's wrong?" He asked, and I shook my head innocently.
"Nothing."
Jacob raised an eyebrow, licking his lips. "I'm not stupid, Aria. I know when you're upset, so just tell me. I won't judge." He murmured, and I liked seeing glimpses of his teasing side come out during casual conversation. Or before sex, because that's one time Jacob is truly himself.
It's his way of forgetting, of distracting himself. Losing himself inside of me and torturing my body either his tongue and his fingers and his dick.
"It's stupid. We've already been through it and I don't want to repeat myself." I mumbled, turning onto my back to avoid eye contact with him. Instead, I blinked up at the ceiling and began counting in my head to numb the panic in my chest.
"You can repeat yourself all you want. I'm listening." Jacob trailed his thumb over my forehead, caressing me lightly.
I shook my head.
"Aria." Jacob scolded. It didn't feel the same telling him my thoughts. I don't think he was listening, especially when I bring up the topic of his addiction. It's always, I'll fix it or don't worry, I have it under control. I know he doesn't, he can't fool me.
"Fine." I huffed, turning back to face him. "I think..." I gulped, feeling a little nauseous. "I think you should go to rehab." I finally confessed, and I see the delectability in eyes as he lays back down, his forearm under his head.
