Falling Again

Chapter 23

My naked body is pressed against Jacob's and my head was on his chest as he runs his fingers down the length of my spine. I smile as I press a kiss to his chest, right above the tattoo that marked his skin. I rub my thumb over the words, my eyes fluttering to a close.

Jacob's fingers squeeze my waist as he flips us over, pinning me to the bed. I gasp in shock, staring up at him as he grins down at me, kissing my cheek. I scrunch my nose, wrapping my arms around his neck as he nestles in-between my legs. Then, his lips travel all around my face, and I'm wrapping my thighs around his waist.

Jacob chuckles against my skin, shaking his head. "We need to get downstairs." He mumbles, and I buck my hips, causing him to groan. He buried his head in my neck, his hot breath feathering my skin. "Aria." He murmurs, and I sigh, loosening my grip in him.

"Fine." I grumble, and Jacob lifts himself off of me, pressing a kiss to my lips. I run my thumb down his cheek before we both get out of bed. Even though I'm fully naked, I press my clothes to my chest and shuffle out of Jacob's room and into mine.

I quickly change into a different pair of clothes before rushing into the bathroom. Then, I'm walkng down the stairs and wrapping my arms around Laura as she approaches me, a huge grin on her face. "Guess what?" She squeals, and I look over at her.

"What is it?" I asked her, sounding a little hopeful for whatever she's about to tell me.

"I think... I think I wanna marry Rose." She says, and my mouth drops open. "I mean- not right now, obviously, but when you find someone and you know they're the one, what's stopping you?" Laura shrugged her shoulders, and my eyes widen in shock.

"That's fucking great. I'm so happy for you." I smiled, resting my arm on her shoulders as we both walk into the living room, flopping onto the couch together. "I'm glad you've finally got someone who really loves you." I smile, and she blushed a little.

"Damn, Aria. Who would have thought that I hated you for years?" She grins, and I roll my eyes, laughing up at the ceiling. "What about you and Jacob?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows. "From what I can hear, it seems like you're both back on track." She says, and I smack her arm lightly.

"I wouldn't say we're... back on track yet, but we're working on it. Taking it slow, this time, instead of jumping head first into a relationship." I tell her, and she nods her head, leaning it on my shoulder.

"That's good. It seems like the best thing for you two." She speaks quietly, and I slowly smile, my eyes fluttering to a close. "I've missed you both, you know. Like, I've missed seeing you both together and being completely smitten for each other. It looks like true love to me." She grins, and I feel a weird, sharp throbbing in my chest.

"Yeah, it is." I reply quietly, pressing my lips together. "I just..." I shook my head. "I don't know how to tell him. That I..." My heart hurt as I glanced to the ground, my chest tightening. "That I do."

Laura chuckled a little, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger. "Aria, you just say it. Telling your boyfriend you love him shouldn't be such a task, you know. It should be easy, and right. Don't stress too much about it."

"I got it all wrong last time, and I can't afford to mess it up, again. I can't hurt him again, Laura." I tell her, shaking my head.

"You won't." She smiles, and I stared at her. "Trust me, girl, I know you'll do right about him." She tells me, squeezing my shoulder a little. I sighed heavily, leaning my head back on the couch. I blinked up at the ceiling.

"I hope." I mumbled, and we're both turning our heads to the side when Jacob walks in, yawning. I chuckled a little as he sits next to us, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Beach day, ladies?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ooh, yeah!" Laura perks up. "We can invite Duke and Amelia, too. They love hanging out with us." She adds, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her statement. Duke loves hangning out with me, and Amelia loves hanging out with my man. It's all individual pleasure, and I hate it.

"Great." I grit between my teeth. Jacob snickers from beside me, and I gently elbow him in his ribs. He pretends to wince in pain. Now, I do roll my eyes. "Stop being a pussy." I laughed, and he rests his elbow on the top of my head. I slouch on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm being a pussy?" Jacob sends me a pointed look. "We'll see."

"What does that mean?" I asked him carefully. Jacob only shrugged his shoulders in response.

"You'll find out."

"Jacob." I warned. He only grinned at me. His eyes looked a little red, and I noticed how fidgety he was. He was playing with the string of his boxers and then with my jeans and then my hair. It was so subtle, but it was signs that I familiarised myself with. It's either signs of withdrawal, or signs of currently being high. I wasn't sure.

I frowned a little. Jacob's eyebrows furrowed, and I pressed my lips together. "What?" He laughs nervously, and I hesitate before shaking my head.

"Nothing." I mumbled, looking away from him. Laura's eyes flickered between the both of us, a small downwards tilt on her lips. I blinked at her, sticking my tongue into my inner cheek.

"Aria." Jacob calls, but Laura clears her throat and claps her hands together once.

"Shall we watch a quick movie before going to the beach?" She quickly asked, but I could still feel Jacob's eyes on me the entire time. I couldn't look at him. I felt too guilty for the way his life ended up, and I think it'll hurt too much to see what I did to him. The damage I inflicted on him by not being there. By being too scared of my feelings and his feelings and everything in between. I wasn't ready to give my all to him, and I knew it the right thing to do, but I hated how I went about doing it.

I'm a shitty person. I suck the life out of people, and Jacob's life is slowly being wasted because of it. Because I couldn't grow up and tell him how I truly felt. Maybe I didn't love him. Maybe I did, just not enough. Not how he deserved to be loved. All I know is that he loved me more than I could have asked for. More than I could have ever deserved, and I threw it back into his face.

And I messed him up beyond repair in the process.