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It was torturous. The feeling of heartbreak, the absoloutly crushing sensation. Aife couldn't bear it, not anymore. She felt that this was it. That the result of this incident was the universe simply telling her to give up. She wasn't wanted anymore. Her feelings weren't being thought of, like they ever were. Part of her wondered if anyone else had ever suffered as much as her, if it were any other situation, she would've put them before her, but not now. Not when she couldn't even hear her own sobs over the pounding in her head. It was beginning to be overwhelming. With her body shaking with her cries, and Thomas' arms wrapped around her, she was becoming more and more aware of the chaos they had influenced.
A string of apologies tumbled out of her chapped lips, although she didn't know why she was sorry. Maybe she felt as though she could've prevented the tragedy, or maybe she knew she couldn't, and she was sorry for giving her friend false hope. Her heart seemed to be at war with itself. Like a sailboat that was caught in the currents. Yearning to go one direction, but the wind was insisting on going the opposite.
She didn't know when Axel crouched down in front of her, but when he placed his hand on her cheek, his thumb smoothing back and forth against her skin, she sniffled and halted. Her eyes were squinted, and she didn't bother to wipe her tears as she lifted her gaze to meet his. He stared at her in silence, his eyebrows raised as he mustered a smile, which came out as more of a grimace. He hadn't known. They were too late, but now, there was nothing they could do. It was obvious that Aife refused to accept that.
Aife took in his freckles, the ones that coated his face in the shape of constellations, mimicking a dark sky with imaginary shapes. If she stared long enough, she could notice a cut on his cheekbone, dried blood coating it. It looked like it hurt.
"Axel," She croaked, a frown tugging at the corner of her lips as the inner corner of her eyebrows rose upward. For a split moment, her blue globes traveled down to the gash on his skin, and she immediately reached her hand out.
"What happened?" He grabbed her hand before her fingers could graze the slash, pursing his lips with a strained chuckle.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. We need to get out of here." He got straight to the point, tilting his head down as he maintained eye contact. For a split moment, Axel lifted his gaze to meet Thomas', who now had tears of his own spilling down his cheeks. They seemed to be silently communicating, confusing Aife.
"But, what about-"
"He's gone. Alright? And I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do about that. But what we can do, is save all of these innocent kids who never got a chance to live." He spoke lowly, and Aife could feel Thomas' arms untangle themselves from around her waist, causing her to pull away from him. She was now supporting herself to sit up. Thomas was standing behind her.
"They were just like you, you know? Young and scared. They don't know the next chapter in their lives. We can help them, Aife." He lowly grunted as he pushed himself up from his crouched position. She stared up at him, and at the sight, Axel was reminded. She was just a kid.
"How?"
There was a painful moment of silence, Axel's facial expression slightly twisted up as he extended a hand towards her. She glanced at it. If she took it, this would most likely be it. Any decision they would make from here would be final. It always had. But for some reason, Aife felt like everything was at stake. Even though she had nothing left to give. Thomas spoke.
"I'm going to find Ava Paige. You don't have to come with me." His voice faltered, and it sounded distorted as he gripped the gun in his hands. Aife didn't know if she was offended or not. Why would he think that she wouldn't join him? She had expressed from the start that she wanted the blonde woman dead, as she was the root for all of their problems. She wanted nothing more than to grip a fistful of her perfect hair as she laid on the ground, and she wished that she could bring a blade across the flesh of her throat. She wanted to observe as she choked and twitched, and blood pooled out from underneath her. Aife could imagine how she would look in her final moments. She could picture the way Ave Paige would stare at her, with her eyes wide, her lips parting, though nothing coming out.
But that couldn't be done.
Not anymore.
Not when she had people depending on her, and looking at her as if she was a role model of some sort. Which she was far from being.
Aife reached her hand out, her fingers grasping at Axels wrist as he gripped hers, yanking her up from her position on the concrete almost effortlessly. She turned to Thomas, doing her best to ignore the body of her fallen friend that was sprawled on the ground.
"I'm coming with you."
"Uh, no You're not." Axel said sternly, lifting his thick eyebrow as he stared down at his sister.
"Yes. I am. I can handle myself." her voice grew sharp, though, he could still hear it waver. He stared at her as she brought her hand up to wipe away the rest of her tears.
"I know you can. But i came all this way to be with you again. I'm not letting you go. Not this time." He shook his head. Aife felt a sensation of anger rush through her.
"You're not going to lose me, alright? Just let me do this." She glanced back at Thomas for a split moment, seeing his breathing grow raged as he leaned his weight on one foot, his shoulders uneven. His gaze was casted toward the concrete.
"I-" Axel sighed, shutting his eyes in frustration as he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, "I don't want to risk anything. I don't want you putting yourself in danger. "
Aife could feel her heart twist as his words, and she could feel that lump grow back in her throat, "Like i'm not in danger already," Her voice was flat.
"Just let me do this."
Axel pondered for a moment at her words, looking at Thomas once more, who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.
". . . Alright. Thomas, make sure she's safe. We'll meet you at the main building," Axel stepped away as he spoke, now things were picking up. Aife could hear Thomas shuffling behind her, and he wasted no time grabbing her hand, and tugging her along. She ignored the way he interlocked their pinkies.
She pushed the situation with Newt to the back of her mind. Well, tried to at least. Now, the only thing she thought about, was finding Ava Paige.
