The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

Chapter 31: Emissary of the Gods

I couldn't wait for the next party in Caltrop Pond, but in order to attend it, I needed alcohol. Which I didn't have. And which I wasn't sure how or where to obtain – except that it would not be from the Jeks' winter store. I pondered the issue all afternoon while monitoring Taila's movements, and by the time Mistress Jek dismissed Bobo and herded her family indoors for supper, I had my solution.

Before the viper could slither out of the yard, I emerged from the green onions to intercept her. But she, as it turned out, was also searching for me.

Hey, Bobo, I greeted her.

"Rosssie!" she cried in delight. "I thought it was you! What are you doing here?"

Let's talk elsewhere. I waggled my head away from the cottage, in the rough direction of Caltrop Pond.

"Sssure!"

I led her away from the cottage and into a stand of bamboo, whose rustling leaves would help cover our voices. On instinct, Bobo glided up a stalk and curled around it loosely, draping her head down to look at me.

"What's up?" She lowered her voice to a dramatic whisper, the kind parodied by stage actors playing Imperial spies. "Why all the sssuper-sssecret sssecrecy?"

Funny you should ask, I answered with a significant nod. About the secrecy, I mean.

"Huh?"

Taking one step closer, I craned my neck upward and whispered back in the same melodramatic tone, You asked what I'm doing here. I'm on a secret mission on behalf of – And I swiveled my head from side to side, as if checking for eavesdroppers, before rolling my eyes up at the sky.

The viper gawked at the bamboo leaves overhead for a very long moment.

"Oooooh! You mean, you're working for – ?" Copying me, she pointed her nostrils at the sky a couple times and also rolled her eyes upward.

Yes. Discretion is of the utmost necessity.

"Ooooh! You're a sssecret agent for the gods!" She nodded so hard that the bamboo bounced. "You can count on me. I'm very dissscreet!" Sliding down to my eye level, she stage-whispered, "Ssso, which god? Which god is it?"

Very discreet, indeed. I wish I could tell you. But the god's instructions were very specific.

"Oh. I sssee." Bobo looked crestfallen, but perked up at once. "Will you tell me sssomeday? Promise you'll tell me sssomeday!"

No harm in promising, since she was too dumb to make me swear an oath. Of course.

"Great! Ooh, this is ssso exciting! I'm friends with a real sssecret agent sssent down to Earth by the gods! Can I help? I want to help. How can I help?"

Well, since she asked so nicely. After a pretense of deep thought, I suggested, Well, actually, there is something. It's very important.

That excited her. She leaned forward until her nostrils practically bumped mine. "Uh huh, uh huh! Anything!"

Wow, was her life really that boring?

I confided, It's important for me to blend into the social scene here, so no one suspects me. So it would be useful for me to attend the parties at Caltrop Pond –