The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

Chapter 153: In Order to Escape the Rain

Up in Heaven:

Another New Year, another round of parties to organize, including one to celebrate the promotion of the new Assistant Director of the Bureau of Reincarnation. Flicker couldn't tell from his Supervisor Glitter's increasingly deep scowl whether it was the extra work that so put her out – or their incoming boss.

Not that they got any say in who led their bureau, of course. The top positions were political appointments, determined by the gods and goddesses who headed the other bureaus. At no point in the process were clerks ever solicited for their opinions.

"Do you know how they pushed through the appointment so fast?" Flicker whispered to Wink as the star sprites filed down their dorm hallway. Every time they passed an open door, six more star sprites joined the column. "I thought it was supposed to take another century to appoint the new Assistant Director."

That had been Star's estimate, based on how negotiations on the committee were going – or, to be more accurate, not going. So what changed since the last time they spoke?

"How would I know?" Wink growled back.

He wasn't really a morning star sprite. None of them were.

Their column flowed outside and merged with the ones streaming out of the other dorms. For a quarter hour every morning, the back paths of Heaven were packed with black-robed clerks on their way to work.

"But something must have happened. They never appoint a new Assistant Director this fast," Flicker pressed. "Your office is close to Glitter's. Didn't you hear anything?"

"No."

One of the star sprites behind Flicker whispered, "My roommates were saying that the gods and goddesses are desperate to learn how the Kitchen God suddenly started getting so many more offerings. I'd guess the Star of Heavenly Joy promised to share the information if they appointed him."

Oh. Oh no.

"Do they really think that the Kitchen God will just let his subordinate leak that information?" asked another clerk incredulously.

"He's not here often enough to know if he does," pointed out another.

"Really?!"

Nearby heads swiveled towards Flicker and Wink, who both worked in the Bureau of Reincarnation. Flicker nodded. Wink grunted.

"Huh," said one of the clerks. "He'd better start spending more time up here then."

That would certainly be for the best, although it was hard to imagine. The Kitchen God had always spent the majority of his time on Earth, fulfilling his other duty as Heavenly spy. But if he wanted to protect his back in the Heavenly Court....

"What happens if he leaks the information, anyway?" one of the clerks mused. "Would it really be so bad?"

"Well," Flicker answered slowly, choosing his words with care, "depending on what the information is, and how easy the, um, strategy is to implement, they might all start using it."

He tried to imagine a separate temple to every god and goddess, all vying for offerings. Would that work? Was there even enough physical space in Goldhill to build a temple to each god and goddess? Could some of them be convinced to share a temple?

"If they're successful, that would mean more offerings to the other gods too," a clerk mused. "That means Heaven will become wealthier in general.... Hey! Think they'll give us a raise?"