The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

Chapter 173: Cassius' Revenge

My worst nightmare unfurled before my, well, not-eyes.

This was Cassius' revenge. He would condemn me to reincarnate without my memories, without my mind. He would sentence me to an eternity of lives as thoughtless animals who moved through the world with no strategy, no awareness of how their actions might impact humans and karma totals. It would be like my lives as an earthworm.

"Try not to scare any small children," Flicker had advised all those centuries ago, before I'd learned or bothered to learn his name. I'd thought it was inane advice, for how could a worm with no eyes tell whether the coolness of the shadow that fell over it came from the shoe of a human child or something that wasn't human at all?

Then Cassius had flagrantly violated regulations by kicking me from Green Tier down to White, Flicker had found the courage to file an official complaint against a god, and the Goddess of Life had decided, perhaps on a whim, to grant my request to keep my memories when I reincarnated. Since then, Flicker's advice about not scaring small human children had been my lodestar.

And now – now – Cassius was back as the Assistant Director of Reincarnation, the unchallengeable authority in the Bureau for most of the year, with absolute power to destroy me. Could you literally destroy a soul? I didn't know, but he'd erase me in the figurative sense. Just as I had erased him, his family, his dynasty, and his empire.

If I could take it all back, I would.

His dark eyes were scrutinizing me, waiting for any hint of dismay that he could seize on and gloat over. Think! There had to be something I could say to improve this situation! Even if all it did for now were to lay the groundwork for future improvement.

What would I have done, back when he was emperor and I was a thousand-year-old nine-tailed fox?

I floated above the table and attempted to tilt seductively. Since I was a ball of light with no distinguishing features, this had no effect. I soldiered on anyway, like One Ear in that fight against the joro spider chieftain, Lodia in that fight against the oystragon, Stripey and Bobo in any number of fights against my enemies.

Aww, but Heavenly Lord, surely that's a little harsh?

If only I could have accompanied my wheedling with the dip of a fan, the brush of a tail! Maybe then I could have elicited more than a fake scowl.

"The laws of Heaven are clear, and I, as a star god loyal to the Jade Emperor, am sworn to uphold them with incorruptible integrity."

How he got through that sentence was a marvel greater than anything in Heaven or on Earth.

I drifted closer, testing whether I could dim my glow to convey my penitence. Nope. My soul had one brightness.

Of course you are! I would not dare suggest otherwise. Your integrity shines in the night sky as a star!

Okay, not my best line. But seriously, how was I supposed to stroke his ego when all I could see were Bobo's shocked eyes and when all I could hear was Stripey's sniggering? How was I supposed to flirt with anyone with such an audience in my mind?

Surely, in your infinite mercy, you might find a way to apply the laws with justice and compassion?

"Justice and compassion," Cassius mused. He leaned forward, planting his elbows on Flicker's documents and wrinkling the thin paper. (Thinner and finer than anything that South Serica, the only kingdom to remember the technology of paper production, could make.) He laced his fingers under his chin. Go on, I'm listening, said his eyebrows.