That Blonde Guy

Chapter 29

Ayana stared outside the open window of her room, thinking about everything that happened the past days.

She couldn't understand herself. She didn't even know what she was feeling at the moment, but it sure was confusing her especially that she'd never felt like this before. The strange heaviness inside her chest. The misty eyes with threatening tears, and that something inside her heart that's been troubling her--pain.

It was a guy's fault, she couldn't believe. A mere guy's fault.

Secretly going with Kita to that shrine three days ago wasn't a good idea after all. If only she said no and just stayed home, she wouldn't have found out. If only she wasn't too stupid for wanting to see the guy that day. If only she wasn't a foolish admirer, she wouldn't have cared about him being with another girl.

But unfortunately, she was.

She stared at her unfinished assignment on the study table. To the sketchpad lying open. To that untouched orange juice resting on the night stand that was given to her by some random stranger on the street. Crumpled scratch papers filled with sketches and math solutions littered the floor, and the bed hadn't been made since the morning. For the first time in a long time, Ayana didn't feel like doing anything. She hadn't been like herself.

Her eyes drifted back to the old sketch pad on the bed. She took it and started flipping the pages, looking at the images that she'd drawn the past years. She paused, staring at those dead blank eyes etched on the paper. Ayana found herself wishing that those eyes were alive and would stare back at her with such life and beauty. The thought made her smile, but the realization that it would never happen sent a pang of pain in her chest.

Why was there an urge to cry?

She couldn't understand.

'Pathetic.' The voice inside her head was loud and clear. 'A mere guy, and you're acting like this?'

This shouldn't be happening in the first place. She shouldn't be feeling this. There were many things that she should be doing instead of sulking in her room over a guy. She needed to collect herself together. Whatever's causing her this unpleasant feeling was something that's out of her control, so it is what it is. Move on. The world wouldn't stop spinning. Everything is temporary so she should be able to get over this, right?

She stared at the sketch pad once again, heaving a sigh. 'Right.'

And so, Ayana decided to put an end to it the very next day.

The bright rays of the morning sun immediately hit her skin when she got off the taxi. Adjusting her glasses, she stared at the house in front of her. The beating of her heart intensified and for a moment she felt like walking back, but with the eagerness to get this over with, she didn't. With a straight look on her face, she ignored the hesitation and started walking to the Sano Residence, making her way to that separated building a few distance from the main house--the garage.

Or rather, his room.

It took her a few more hesitations before she was finally able to knock. A moment later the door finally opened, revealing the blonde guy. Holding the knob, he stared at her, face somewhat confused. He obviously wasn't expecting to see her outside the door.

"It's.. Saturday?"

"I know."

The exams will be on Friday next week, and they're supposed to finish the guy's remaining output by Tuesday, but Ayana told him that she would be busy next week so they needed to finish everything. Right now.

The guy couldn't do anything but scratch the back of his head. He opened the door widely, letting her in. "Lemme take a shower. Wait here."

As Ayana sat there on the table, on her usual spot, she couldn't help but roam her eyes around the room, as if subconciously trying to memorize every detail of the place. The position of the shelves. Those untouched, dusty books beneath the TV, and that poster of a motorbike behind the door. How she wished she could keep on seeing them, but unfortunately, it's not how it would be.