rants

Zayn Malik (33%)

So I wrote this because I felt really down and I'm sorry Zayn. I'm sorry I finally realized how much I missed you.

Z.M.
[9:32 PM]
I hate myself for it, honestly. Why didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I see the broken pieces of your heart behind your precious smile? Why didn't I sense your tears after every show because you wanted to leave? I wish I was capable of brushing away your invisible tears and I wish I was capable of bringing you back. I wish it didn't have to be him singing your solo because you aren't up there. I wish it didn't have to be us trying to reach that high note. I wish I didn't have to watch the very last video you'll ever be in and realize my genuine pain. I'm sorry they mobbed you when you wanted space. I'm sorry they screamed in your ears and yelled "I love you" when you wanted them to stop. I'm sorry they asked for a picture instead of asking how you were. I didn't see you breaking and I am so, so sorry.

-Elly