I once was in love alone.
Not exactly love but close enough.
Now I'm back at it.
Because now I'm 'in like' alone.
I used to be sad alone.
Happy alone.
Mad alone.
Everything alone.
I never knew how to involve others in my feelings in a healthy way. Where I can share my anger without them misunderstanding my intentions. Or where I can share my happiness in a way where it didn't feel like bragging. Or share my sadness without it feeling like complaining.
All feelings that I embrace, I must embrace alone. Just like how I buy myself all of my favorite things. Who else is going to? I'll buy myself tulips. I'll take myself out. I'll use pillows to build a fort of pillows and lay in the middle. It's like a hug.
I'll have to like this person alone.
I'll have to cry alone.
I'll have to be grateful alone.
I do these things alone.
Does that mean I'm lonely?
Am I lonely?
Maybe.
I don't know yet.
I'm so used to doing this.
So.
Maybe.
YOU ARE READING
Finding Joy
PoesiaI never spent time seeking joy. I only spent time making a bed comfortable enough in sadness to bare it. Now, I'll see and work at finding joy. This is a continuation of "We Are the Normal Ones: Memoirs of a Fallen Human".
