Opening Page: Joy

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I watch a trailer for a movie coming out in the summer. In there, a guy says something along the lines of:
"Every man has a right to find his own joy. And I intend on finding mine."

I'm sure that's not how it was said but that's how it was interpreted in my mind.

I was unhappy for so long. Not just unhappy; depressed, in despair, dejected, desperate... Devoided of all dedication of drawing myself out of darkness.

I was so comfortable with my sadness that anything beyond that scared me. I'm scared to be happy. Anything beyond that, anything that stretched out toward the light that would expose me to a sense of euphoria seemed so out of reach.

"Every man has a right to fight his own joy."

You know... during all this time, I've never went searching for joy. I knew what made me happy. I knew what I liked. Even so, I never sought after it. I never tried to obtain joy.

Now, after starting this book almost 4 years ago, it's time to write the final page. It's time to start another. It's time to close this chapter and start another book. I've accepted my sadness. I've dealt with my depression. And now, now I will seek joy. I will reach out for happiness and trade my tears for smiles. I will accept the love others give me and the love I give myself.

Oh, man. What a resolve. I like it though. I'm actually excited. I'm going to be happy.

:)

Finally.

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