Finding Joy

Enough

I'm guilty of feeling like I am not enough or I wasn't enough for someone. But what if it's not about supply and demand? You could be enough for someone but still not be what they need at the time. Just as I could take Tylenol and have a plenty amount of Tylenol. And for some things, that could be what I need. But if it's calcium that I'm lacking, it's more beneficial to take calcium daily to keep up my health so I can be less pain. Rather than taking Tylenol in bulk when I need to relieve the ache.

You can be enough. It's not about being enough for someone. You are always enough. It's about whether you're someone's Tylenol to relieve aches when it comes. Or if you're calcium to be in for long haul. Vitamins and medicine took quite similar at times. Someone could treat you as Tylenol but at a closer look they realize you were actually the vitamin they need. But there's nothing wrong with being either the vitamin or the Tylenol. They both do their job in helping the other person. And that's the goal.

I feel like my presence is more like Tylenol. I feel like I'm best in comforting ones when they really need it. I am not so good at being a daily supplement lol I still work at having vitamin-like consistency. But I really like being "Tylenol-esque" :)

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I know many of us knows this saying but it comes to my mind frequently when I start to feel that being liked by everyone determines my value in some way. "You could be the ripest, sweetest, juiciest peach in the world. And there will still be someone who doesn't like peaches." Taking that and using that logic in the aspect of our not being enough, you can reason just a little bit, that it's not your worth in question. You're a decent human being.

When I was younger I could eat pineapples just fine. Now when I eat them, they hurt my mouth. I get this burning, tingling feeling and sometimes the skin on the roof of my mouth starts peeling. It's maddening lol because I love pineapples. I think they taste so good. But it's best if I don't have so much of it. People could be like that. Someone you had in your life that you love but overtime developed a need to have distance from. Whether physically or emotionally. Doesn't mean you don't love them or think they are wonderful people.

But determining whether or not you're calcium or Tylenol doesn't seem to make you feel any better. In a movie, it was explained that there were "rules" or habits that every person follow when it comes to dating. And by that you could tell if someone likes you or not. The main character kept being told that she was the rule and the other person she would tell a story about was the exception. I've watched that movie plenty of times. But recently I finally got the point that I needed to see. Because it's true, people for the most part treat you in the same way as everyone else if they are interested. That being "the rule". However, you will always be someone's exception. That someone doesn't have to be a romantic interest. You could be your best friend's exception; they always turns off their notifications after 10 PM so that they can sleep, but for you they'll stay up listening to you and talking with you and it's already four o'clock in the morning. You could be your parents exception; for the most part they aren't the hugging type but for you, they'll hug you when you want it. You could be your co-worker's exception; they hate sharing their food but always splits their bag of chips with you.

I can easily trade in all of that love I receive and say it'll never even out or outweigh the gravity of having a romantic interest in the form of a boyfriend or a husband. But one day I'll have to realize that the fact isn't that I wasn't enough. All of these other people and actions prove that I am. If there is the belief in the existence of "the one" then, just like in math, I would have to believe in the existence of the "negative one". The concept of absolute power ignores details. So there can never be a negative result. When we treat love in terms of the absolute value, we confuse negative one for being the one.
|-1| = 1

When you take away the lines, you will have -1 = 1. We know that negative one doesn't equal one. It equals negative one.

There are so many illustrations out there that we can look and see that our value should never be in question. Knowing that and feeling that are two different things though. So I understand the struggle.

Now who is in need of Vitamin V? 🤔🤔😜😂
I'm joking lol but seriously guess, value is something thats always there and shouldn't be weighed