What would i do without you?

Chapter 21

mina and i spent the rest of the night cuddled up in bed. i'm very thankful of mina, she brought me happiness in the darkest moments of my life, i don't even think i would be here without her.

i knew i had to go home today, but i didn't really want to, i was nervous. sarah really pissed me off last night, i know i overreacted but she promised me all week that we would do it as we hadn't spent time together for a while. i felt like sarah and i didn't have a good relationship anymore. i just felt like i was intruding her life, she's so busy with work and holland at the moment, i just feel like i'm in the background. i don't know what do anymore.

a couple hours later and mina decided to take me home, the car ride was quick, too quick perhaps. i sat and stared out the window, thinking about how i was going to address the situation without hurting anyones feelings. "honey we're here." mina said sadly. "huh" i asked still deep in thought. "we're at your house sweetheart." she said pointing towards the large house. "oh." i said facing the floor. "honey, it will be fine, just let her know how you feel, okay? and if you need me just in case it doesn't end well, you always know i'm here for you sweetheart." she said stroking my upper arm sympathetically. "thankyou mina, i love you." i said placing a gentle kiss to her lips. "i love you too sweetheart." she said kissing my lips a couple more times.

i got out of the car and headed towards the house. i'm very nervous, 'what if it doesn't go well?' 'what if she thinks i'm overreacting?' 'what if she doesn't want me anymore and sends me back home?' i couldn't stop, my brain felt like it was about to explode, it was going into overdrive.

i placed a few heavy knocks on the door, informing everyone that i am here. a couple seconds later sarah answered the door and boy did she look rough. her mascara had clogged up, her eyes had dark bags underneath, her face was pale, she looked liked she hadn't even slept. now i felt guilty. i caused this, all because of a fucking christmas tree. 'what the fuck is wrong with me?' 'why am i like this?' 'why do i have to be so fucking stupid?' "y/n?" sarah questioned. "i'm sorry." i said pulling her into the tightest hug. "hey, you don't need to be sorry." she said stroking my hair. "i never should've left, i should've ju-" i said getting interrupted. "no sweetheart, i shouldn't of shouted at you like that, i should've ran after you when you left, i should've tried harder but instead i let you walk away." sarah said with tears streaming down her face.

"it's okay, i was acting stupid." i said sadly. "no you weren't, i should've never spoke to you like that, okay?" sarah said reassuringly, i replied nodding. "now let's get inside and get you some hot chocolate." sarah said pulling me into the house. we walked through the living room when i noticed the decorations weren't there anymore. "hey mom where's the tree?" i asked. "well holland and i decided that because i did promise to put the tree up as a family, that it was only fair to take it down to put back up with you." she said smiling. "r-really, i-i wow, um thankyou" i said blushing, even though i was mad at her yesterday, i couldn't help but smile at the fact she wanted to spend time with me.

"it was hollands idea." she said turning away to heat the water. "wait what?" i asked. "holland said that it wasn't fair what we did, so she decided we should take it down to decorate it again but this time with you." she said smiling. "oh um that's really sweet of her, i thought she hated me." i said sadly. "we'll i had a little chat with her last night and she said she doesn't hate you, she wants nothing more that for you two to get along but she's just nervous because she's never had a child to look after before." sarah said smiling softly, handing me the hot chocolate.

"i guess that makes sense..."

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A/N: sorry about the slow updates, hope you guys are enjoying the book! remember to leave suggestions of what you want to see! 😊