"Pain is the price of love
We agree to pay it whenever we open our hearts.
Every hello comes with the knowledge
that one day it will be a goodbye
Every first kiss comes with the certainty
That there will one day be a last.
And yet, even thought we k...
"Please... don't do this, Gen!" — I begged, I actually begged her as soon as I saw the water starting to form in her eyes.
"I'm sorry... but I will miss you so fucking much!" — She said, her body crushing mine in a tight hug. I can't complain though, because this is the last hug I'm going to give her for a few months and I just wish I could stay in her embrace for a little longer.
The days seemed to have passed faster than the other 3 months that I've spent here. The last couple of days were spending saying goodbye to everybody that I've met on set during my time in Vancouver. The other part of them was just hanging around with Jensen, Jared and Gen, but everything good must come to an end.
"Text me when you get there, yeah?" — Gen asked, the back of her hand cleaning the stubborn tears that had fallen against her will and mine.
"Of course! I love you to our sky and back!" — I said, hugging her one last time before my small body was totally squeezed by the giant in the group. — "I love you too, Jar!" — I said, laughing at how my feet got lifted off the ground by his arms.
"Be nice to the people in San Francisco you grumpy little shit, eat your breakfast everyday, and please come back quickly." — Jared said, finally letting me touch the ground with just the tip of my toes.
"First... I'm always nice and second I will miss you like hell, moose!" — I said, seeing Jared smile along with his watery green eyes is the second most beautiful thing I saw today. The first is right behind him, waiting for his turn to say goodbye.
"I will miss you too, Doll!" — He said, giving me a small kiss on the forehead before grabbing Gen in a side hug, so she could lean on his shoulder. Jensen seemed hesitating for a second before taking a step forward in my direction.
"Scared to say goodbye, handsome?" — I asked, trying so hard to fight the tears that want to start to form in my eyes once again, but I made every single person here promise me not to cry, so I won't either.
"Just the word goodbye is hard enough to say right now... I'm more afraid of not seeing you again..." — He said, intertwining our fingers gently.
"Who knows? Maybe we will be together again, Jay..." — I said, trying to make him look at me, but apparently he finds the floor under us much more appealing to look at right now. I understand it perfectly because I just want to dig a hole in this exact floor and hide in it for the rest of my life.
"What if we both found someone?" — He asked, again his eyes didn't look directly at mine, but at least they were glued to the opening ceiling above us. Probably, he was starting to have a little pain in his neck and decided to change his angle.
"It's ok... That's why I never asked you to date me or be like a normal couple, because we're not, and we're probably never going to be so if you find someone else that you love. Don't miss that chance, Jay, take it... with your whole heart." — I said, his eyes finally landed on mine, the green was surrounded by a reddish color which made me realize that this is getting harder and harder for him, every word was making all of this so much painful. — "One day you will... and I hope that this woman will make you the happiest man in the world, and she will be one damn lucky lady." — I finally disconnected our hands just so I could grab his face gently in between my fingers, letting my lips touch his soft ones in a tender and slow kiss, a goodbye kiss.
"Talk later?" — He asked, just like he did everyday since I've been here, whenever we knew we weren't going to see each other that day, he always asked me that and just like every other day I answered him the same.
"Can't wait, handsome. Keep kicking demon asses and be hot while you do it." — I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit, and it only worked for a second because his smile appeared only an inch.
"I will, sweetheart. Have a nice flight." — He said, giving me a last kiss on the lips, and then he pressed his lips on my forehead.
As soon as I started to walk away from them, I knew from the bottom of my heart that I couldn't look back. I knew if I did, I wouldn't be getting in that plane today or any day in the future.
So instead I faced it with my head held high just like nothing happened, trying to ignore the three people that I left behind me, probably looking at me walking away and the burning feeling inside my heart.
I tried to ignore the fact that I probably won't see Jensen again so soon, and that I eventually need to fall out of love for him. The fact that he will find someone new, and I need to be happy for him when that happens because apart from what we had this summer... I will be his friend for the rest of my life if that depends on me.
I took my seat in the plane, right in the middle of it. I know it won't be long until I hear the pilot saying to turn off our devices, so I quickly started to type on my phone, begging internally that I can write fast enough to press the button before the plane takes off.
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@ClaireJones I was one damn lucky girl this past few months, because apart from getting to know everyone of the big family that is Supernatural. I got to see my best friend being so fucking happy with Jared, and I got to see this smile every single day that I was in Vancouver.
The friendships that I leave here will be in my heart for the rest of my life because a small part of you all are coming with me.
I left half of my heart there, and I can't regret it for a single second, because I think for the first time in a long time I was happy for a couple of months straight.
Thank you, @jensenackles, for giving me the best summer of my life, and to the rest of you.
See you soon, bitches!
I know it will be hard to try to go back to my life as if nothing had happened this summer. Like I haven't left part of me in there with them, but at least I know I have to try.
Getting a job is the number one priority right now, and with that I can gather enough money to make some vacations in Vancouver whenever I can. Maybe I can find something that I can do from home... that would be too perfect to even become a real thing, but who knows? Jensen is too good to be true and still I found him, and he is the kind of person that stays in your heart for a long time, I'm sure of it.
