It's not really that hard to balance a relationship with your work life, but a secret relationship with one of your co-workers? Not so easy.
Being with Jensen around the set was easy, most of the time.
Except when he decides that it's 'Teasing Claire day' and spend his free time between scenes passing around my office just to make me see him in his Dean clothes. Or when I'm having a simple conversation with Misha, and he just decided to join the conversation uninvited just so he could make some comments about the things I have written for Dean to do in the following season.
Being around Jared was a completely different story. We almost don't look at each other when Jared is around because we both know very well that if the giant gets a small glimpse of whatever we have going on between us.
He won't shut up for the rest of the year.
So that has been my life since a week ago when I agree to keep me and Jensen in secret, and I know that it might sound selfish or stupid, or both... but I'm really happy.
It's not ideal, I know... but it's enough, at least for now.
Today has been a harder day than the others because Danneel decided that it was a good idea to come spend the day on Set. Hanging on Jensen like he was a rope, the perfect rope to put around my neck and commit suicide if I have to watch her kiss him one more time.
So I just decided to spend the whole afternoon in the small office we have on set and no, I'm not hiding... or maybe I am, but I don't really care.
When I finally looked up from my laptop, I had this pair of giant green eyes looking back at me, and in his arm was my favorite human being in the world.
"So workaholic... how about we just leave this place and go make ourselves drunk?" — Gen hasn't been around as much anymore, considering she isn't working on the set anymore, but at least once a week she comes to have lunch with her husband and make me some company.
"Oh yeah...call me in please!" — I closed the laptop on the table before I crushed Gen in a heartwarming hug, she doesn't know it yet, but she just made my day so much more tolerable.
"How have you been holding up?" — She asked, not really bothering about leaving her husband behind us and looking at his phone. — "With everything you know, Jensen and his not so lovely fiancée?" — The sarcastic tone she used in the last part of her sentence was enough to put a small smile on my face.
"Oh... It's been ok, you know?" — I lied, this time I didn't lie because I wanted to, I lied because I needed to... Gen is just like Jared. The moment she finds out about me and Jensen, she is going to either be pissed at me for not telling her or fuming because I am the reason Jensen cheated on his soon-to-be wife. — "I'm getting used to it, day by day..."
"That's good, love, I'm really happy to hear that!" — She stopped for a moment to turn around in the direction of Jared, who was still looking at his phone laughing at the videos Jensen is sending him, apparently. — "Babe, we're going to the bar downtown, meet us there when you're over?" — Gen asked, making Jared finally take his attention away from the screen, and with a smile he got closer to her.
"Sure, you girls go and have fun. I'll catch up later!" — He gave her a small but sweet kiss on the lips and just like every day I received the typical sweet kiss on the forehead. He started to walk in the direction of the set they were supposed to record today, and even from afar I can perfectly hear the sound of Jensen's laugh.
"You know... he really loves you like you are his little sister, like you're part of his life forever now." — Gen said as we entered her car, closing the door behind her.
"You know, I have loved him since day one, Gen. At the time, it was only because he made you happy as you'll ever be, but after a while I really started to love him because of the person he is. Not just because he makes you happy, but because he is happy when everyone around him is." — I looked at the main gates while they opened in front of us, so that Gen's car could get out of the Warner Bros Studios.
"He's something else..." — Gen said before pressing the pedal to start our journey into the small and quiet bar downtown where we used to go so many times during summer.
After a couple of beers, both me and Gen were laughing and just talking about random things. Like what was the name we would give our children and Jesus Christ, we are going to be the worst mothers in the world.
"Now for real... I would like to name my first kid Thomas, I just freaking love that name!" — She said after getting her breathing in control again after we've been laughing for the past five minutes straight.
"Thomas is really cute, but I don't know, maybe I like Enzo." — I said, seeing Gen's eyes getting wide at the name, I decided to mention. — "I know that Jared would never allow his kid to be called Enzo because of Enzo of the Vampire Diaries. But it's not anyone's fault that he auditioned for the part and didn't get it... it's not the name's fault." — I said, making her start to laugh once again.
"He would kill me if I even mentioned that name for our kids...speaking about the devil." — She said, before raising her hand in the air to try to get the attention of Jared that probably just walked inside the bar.
I didn't flinch when I felt the pair of lips touching my forehead, it was as natural as ever for me. What I didn't expect was when Jared was already kissing Gen's lips, the hand that touched the end of my back and another pair of lips touching my cheek so sweetly that I could almost taste it.
"Where's the fiancée, Jay?" — Gen asked, before finally releasing the lips of Jared. Her eyes almost burned Jensen's skin, and I could feel it just by standing right next to him.
Gen never really forgave Jensen for what he did, even when I told her so many times that he didn't do anything wrong.
He made the right decision when he tried to move on, he thought that he was never going to see me again, and I should've done the same in San Francisco. But deep inside, I always knew that I would see him again, and we did, and he is totally regretting his decisions, but Gen doesn't and won't know about that any time soon.
"Gen..." — I didn't really know what to tell her to be honest, but I just don't want the rest of the evening to be full of tension between them... Neither of them knows what's going on between me and Jensen, but I just want a peaceful time with my two best friends and the man I love. I just want to be happy for five more minutes. — "Let's get some beers for the two of you."
"I'll help!" — Jensen said, probably faster than he should because the faster he was standing up by my side the faster the couple in front of us looked at our figures with some kind of confusion and surprise on their faces.
One day me and Jensen want to kill each other and right now he is offering me his help, they know something isn't right, but they don't say anything and for that, I'm fucking grateful.
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Close to not enough - Jensen Ackles Fanfic
Fanfiction"Pain is the price of love We agree to pay it whenever we open our hearts. Every hello comes with the knowledge that one day it will be a goodbye Every first kiss comes with the certainty That there will one day be a last. And yet, even thought we k...