Close to not enough - Jensen Ackles Fanfic

37º Chapter

It's feels like it was yesterday when Gen and Jared found out about me and Jay, but time is passing too damn fast for my taste. In a couple of days, we will head on a plane and start a fucking journey all over the globe because of the conventions.

I know I should be feeling the excitement that everyone tells me about what they felt when they went to their first conventions, but something about this isn't feeling right to me.

Gen not being here is making my life harder than I thought. We were separated many times before, but knowing that I will be visiting amazing places and having the time of my life without her just doesn't make sense to me.

I haven't seen her without the help of FaceTime, in like a month when the house that the Padalecki family was building was finally done, and she moved definitely to her new family home.

I knew a long time ago that she was starting to think about starting a family with Jared, and I'm one hundred percent in favor of that matter because I just want to be an aunt so bad. I just never thought that I will miss having her around so much, especially when she is the only other girl that know about Jensen, and I can talk to about everything.

We've helped her pack every stuff she had in Vancouver, and I know that I'm being selfish because now. Thinking about how Jared must feel, I kind of can't stop myself from feeling bad about thinking how much I miss her.

He has been his usual self, but most times, when he is really feeling her absent. He usually stops by my apartment, and we spend the night talking and sometimes facetiming Gen, but it's not just the same thing and we both know it.

Jensen has to deal with both our depressive asses, the poor guy. I know that he does it because he loves us and according to him, family is not just for the good times but also for the bad ones and in that he is right.

I don't know how he is managing everything that is happening in his life. Dealing with us, missing Gen, spending most of his day off in meeting and phone calls with his lawyers, so he can try to find a way to call his wedding off without raising suspicion. And in the end he still finds a way to almost every night come to see me and at least have a quick dinner with me.

"Have you heard a single word that I've said in the last ten minutes?" — His voice finally gets me out of my own thoughts, and the realization that he might have been talking to me about something important is starting to hit me.

"I'm sorry babe... I was drowning in my own head." — I said, the fork in my hand playing with the small rest of food that was still on my plate. — "What were you saying?" — I looked at him, the small smile on his face was enough to tell me that it was ok for me to be like this. Honestly, I just think it's about time for me to stop thinking about whatever is wrong in my life and starting to finally enjoy everything good that I have right now.

"I was asking you if you are at least a little excited about the convention's sweetheart?" — Jensen was being so patient with me that it almost pains me to think how ungrateful I have been to him these past few weeks.

"I'm not going to lie... Getting to have this experience without Gen is kind of weird, you know? She was always the one that could get to travel without me, so I never got this kind of mixed up feeling." — I started, leading the glass half full of wine towards my lips, taking a small sip into my mouth. — "But on the other hand, I will get to have at least one month of escapades with you, this if Misha doesn't decide to be your shadow every single second." — I couldn't help but laugh as I saw the smile on his lips start to grow.

"That fucking man, loves to cock block us, even if he doesn't have any idea of what he is actually doing." — Jensen was full laughing now, maybe the wine is helping the both of us getting a little loose. This is actually the most relaxed we have been on the last few days, and that makes my heart so warm inside my chest.

"Remember the day that I was going to meet you at your trailer and when I told him that I was going home, he just walked with me to my car and stayed at the gate until I rode off?" — I grabbed the now empty plates from the table and left them in water on the sink, so I could do the dishes later. There is no way in the world I'm going to clean the kitchen while Jensen is here.

"Trust me, sweetheart, I remember very well. Especially since when you texted me saying what had happened, and I was going to meet you here instead, and he just thought that it was ok to tag along." — I almost choked on the wine that I had just put in my mouth, because I remember that afternoon so well. At the time, I wanted to kill Misha right there on the spot, but looking back now, I just want to laugh because we all ended up watching the fucking 'Finding Nemo' and falling asleep on the couch.

"At least you and I sleep together that evening, with Misha in the middle, but that is just a little detail." — I offered him my hand, so we could both go and enjoy the rest of our wine in the living room, and Jensen didn't really hesitate to accept my silent invitation because he intertwined our fingers together.

"I can't stay for too long today, I still have so much to take care of, and especially I haven't even packed anything yet." — He had this sad smile on his lips that I erased with a simple and sweet kiss.

"It's ok... I haven't packed too, and I really need to get started because I need to have some pretty clothes to take some pictures in Paris or Rome." — I gently let my arms rest around his waist because he was too damn tall for me to be comfortable with my arms around his neck without being on my tip toes.

"You look beautiful, even if you were dressed in a potato sack." — I couldn't stop the laugh that came out of my lips hard and loud at his words, because I knew that he really believed what he was saying. I could show up in front of him with a potato sack, and he would still think I'm the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on.

"Are you trying to get into my pants, Mr. Ackles?" — The fake offended look on my face was enough for him to offer me his big and bright smile that I love to see so much.

"Not today, Mrs Jones, maybe in Paris or Rome... who knows." — He whispered against my lips before leaving a sweet but small kiss on my lips, making me realize that he really needed to leave earlier today.

"Talk later?" — I whispered, my eyes were still closed, letting my lips brush so lightly against his own, feeling the smile on his face starting to show.

"Talk later, Sweetheart."