Always you (A Catching Feelings sequel)

Chapter 11

It has been two weeks since Tiana broke up with Steve. Ever since that day, she hasn't been herself, feeling as if a part of her was missing. She missed him every day, sometimes thinking that she made a mistake breaking up with him. She always reminded herself about what he did then she became angry at him all over again. She had never felt so heartbroken. The one person she loved and trusted the most had betrayed her and she had no idea how she would overcome that.

There was also a part of her that felt a bit of relief for breaking up with him. After going around in circles about whether she was ready for a more committed relationship. Whenever she thought about it that way, her heart ached with guilt. She really hoped that wasn't the reason for breaking up with him. That would've been a cowardly thing for her to do. When she broke up with him, she thought she would be okay and move on. She was wrong. She couldn't erase him out of her life that easily, as much as she wanted to. It was impossible. She had loved him more than she had loved anyone.

The absence of Steve's presence was palpable. It was going to take a while to get used to that. She felt trapped, unable to escape the essence of him because everywhere she went and everything she did remind her of him. It was excruciating. She wishes she could erase her memories of him. Thinking about him and how he was the whole world to her, broke her down. She didn't know if she could live without him. She didn't want to. She knew she was the one who broke up with him but it didn't mean she didn't love him anymore. It was impossible to fall out of love with him. She didn't know how many days it would be for her to cave in and call him to come back to her.

She knew she had to be strong for herself, she couldn't just give in so easily. What he did was wrong and she shouldn't forgive so quickly or so easily. She had self-respect. Getting over Steve was going to be more difficult than she thought but it was okay. She just needed to take it one day at a time and soon she would not miss him or think about him anymore. Even though all she wanted was to fast forward to the part where she was happy again. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. She had to do it the long way. Moving on was a process. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to need to take her time.

***

Steve was still wrapping his head around the break-up. He never thought he and Tiana would ever break up. They may have had their issues but they always worked them out. He figured Tiana would be a little upset by his secret mission but he didn't think it would result in a break-up. Nat and Bucky did warn him about that kind of situation, maybe if he had listened to them, he and Tiana would have still been together.

Collapsing onto the bed in defeat, he sighed heavily. Unable to think about anything but Tiana. He hasn't left Canada yet, he needed to make amends and hopefully try and salvage his already broken relationship. He was an idiot for not telling Tiana the truth. He knew she would be upset by him still working for SHIELD. She didn't want him to give up what he enjoyed doing the most. He thought he would be okay, not being Avenger but he realized being an Avenger is what made him who he was. Unfortunately, he didn't have this epiphany earlier, when he and Tiana were still in America. Now they were away from home and utterly miserable.

He was planning on seeing Tiana the next day, they needed to talk things over and clear the understanding. He couldn't live without her in his life. He would be completely lost, like the way he is now. He just wanted to make it up to her and just be hers. Nothing was more important to him than getting Tiana back. They couldn't have gone through so much to end up like this. They deserve more than that.

Later that evening, Steve kept tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. His mind was racing about Tiana. He just couldn't stop thinking about her. All he wanted to do was call her and hear the sound of her voice. Her voice always sounded so soothing and gentle. Clinging to his desire, he grabbed his phone and dialled her number. As it got to the second ring, he quickly cut the call. Maybe she doesn't want to talk to me right now. He thought, as nervously stared at his phone. He wasn't brave to do this in the middle of the night. He could've been crossing the line. He didn't want to make her more upset than she already was. He thought to himself. Or maybe he was just being a coward, who was unable to face the consequences of his actions. He knew he couldn't face her at the moment.