TW// panic attack
ashton woke up to grumbling and whimpers. the left side of the bed shifted and creaked as his boyfriend restlessly kicked his legs and twisted his body. it took a few seconds for ashton to understand what was going on. he looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand and frowned. 3:30am glowed in the dark, providing a smidge of yellow light to the room.
ashton sat up slowly, not wanting to disturb or scare his boyfriend. he knew he couldn't wake luke up. it could either make the nightmare worse, or he could end up hurting himself or ashton. he bit his lip, worry filling him as luke's whimpers grew louder and he fisted the bedsheets. when luke began to pant, ashton knew the blonde would wake up startled soon.
it happened so quickly, making ashton flinch. luke sat up, gasping for air and clawing at his throat. ashton's eyes widened and he grabbed luke's wrists and pinned them down. "breathe baby, it was a dream. you're okay." luke fought ashton's restraint, tears flooding down his cheeks as he sobbed and screamed. he kicked his legs, trying to get away from the hold.
ashton grunted when luke's foot collided with his stomach, only making the blonde cry harder as he blubbered out apologies. "luke, darling, please!" ashton was becoming afraid now. luke had never been this physical nor emotional after a night terror.
"i-i can't breathe!" luke cried out, his gasps growing in closer as he began to hyperventilate. he wanted ashton close, but his body was on autopilot to fight him away.
"luke, if you don't calm down you're going to pass out or hurt yourself. i know you're scared, but you have to try to breathe and calm yourself." ashton coached, being gentle but also stern. if luke didn't calm down, ashton feared he would have to call an ambulance.
luke could only nod, cries slipping through his lips as he attempted to take deep breaths. as his body slowly began to relax, ashton's grip loosened and he helped luke through his panic attack. it took an hour for luke to fully calm down, his body jolting with hiccups once in a while.
"do you want water, or your medicine?" ashton asks gently, combing his fingers through luke's curls. the blonde only nods, too exhausted to mutter a word. ashton gets out of the bed and crouches down to the mini fridge they have in the bedroom.
he grabs luke's medication from the dresser and gives it to luke. he tilts his boyfriend's head back as he pours the water in his mouth, instructing him to swallow the pill and water. he lets luke have a few more sips from the small bottle before screwing the cap back on and places it on the nightstand. luke's body racks with hiccups as ashton cradles him, holding his head to his bare chest.
ashton's heart breaks at each twitch luke's body makes. this panic attack is one of the worst, probably the worst one luke has had. he was thankful his boy had a therapy session tomorrow. he makes note to make an appointment with the sleep specialist as well. if tonight was this bad, there's no telling how much worse it could get from here.
"m' sorry." luke whispers, his voice hoarse and crackling. ashton frowns and kisses his forehead. "you have nothing to be sorry for." the blonde whimpers, cuddling closer to ashton. "i'm so fucking tired, ash." luke cries, his body shaking with sobs again.
all ashton can do is hold his boy close and provide comfort. he would do anything to trade places with luke. the blonde beauty doesn't deserve this trauma. he wishes they knew why luke is having these night terrors. fortunately, luke has not endured any physical or emotional trauma, besides these weekly terrors.
"i know sweetheart, i know." ashton whispers, gently rocking luke as he hummed.
"can you do that thing?" luke asks so quietly, that ashton has to ask him to repeat himself. luke opts out, but when ashton forces him to look at his boyfriend, luke has no choice but to blurt the question again.
ashton smiles, kissing luke's lips lightly. after the night terrors began, ashton came up with a chant of some sorts to help soothe luke. sometimes it worked and the blonde would sleep somewhat peacefully, or they would stay up late until luke's body finally grew exhausted.
ashton lays luke down, but keeping him close. his runs his fingers through his curls and gently massages his scalp. "good dreams, good dreams, here to stay. bad dreams, bad dreams go away." he repeats the chant three times, and ends it with a kiss on luke's lips.
shockingly, in ten minutes ashton hears light snores from luke's mouth. while it makes him happy that luke fell asleep so quickly, he also couldn't help the feeling of sadness. the boy is so exhausted and his body doesn't hide it. his once bright blue eyes have dulled. his face has thinned out and then skin around his eyes are dark and sunken. it's crazy how much damage exhaustion can do to the human body.
"good dreams, good dreams here to stay. bad dreams, bad dreams go away." ashton whispers one last time, before falling into a slumber himself.
