why? // ateez au

the suffering.

"Hello? Mingi?"

I knocked on the door of his apartment with sweaty hands, my knees buckling as I waited anxiously for someone to answer. My knuckles turned white as I tightly grasped the bag in my left hand.

The door abruptly swung open and revealed a worn-out Mingi, scratching his neck as he squinted at me.

"Wooyoung?" He said in a hoarse voice, "Why are you here?"

He didn't seem too happy to see me, and the scowl on his face made me sure of that. I held up the bag in my hand, and through the thin white plastic, Mingi could see what I brought. He scoffed and opened the door wider to let me inside. 

I stepped inside, and the smell of burning filled my senses. To the right of me, a pan filled with a now ashy omelette sat on Mingi's stovetop, engulfed in fire. I looked back at Mingi, who just watched the flame burn his breakfast, not budging to stop the fire.

"You... gonna stop that?" I asked him, internally panicking as the flame grew bigger, but he just shrugged and sat down on his couch. I rushed to his kitchen cupboard, opening every door and peeking my head in to find anything to stop the fire. I started to lose hope until I opened the last cupboard, which had a large towel in it. 

"What are you doing?" Mingi sniffled from the living room, and I could only sigh.

"Putting out this fucking fire, Mingi," I said as I threw the towel onto the burning pan. I could hear Mingi stifle a laugh when I finally got the fire to stop.

My voice started to fill with rage. "What are you laughing at? You could've fucked up your whole apartment," I scoffed, grabbing my bag and sitting next to Mingi.

"I don't know, Wooyoung, it was kind of funny," he said, leaning back into the couch. "Anyway, what is that?" he pointed to my bag.

I didn't say anything; instead, I opened the bag to reveal its contents. Inside, there was medicine, his favorite snacks, and a range of different books. He looked at me puzzled.

"Listen, Mingi..." I began, "We're all worried about you." I moved the bag toward Mingi, who reluctantly took it. He studied the bag further and looked back up at me with teary eyes.

"You shouldn't be doing this, I don't deserve it, Wooyoung." 

My hand found his, and I squeezed it. "Mingi, you're only damaging yourself. We want you healthy and happy. I don't want you to fall off and hurt yourself. I can't stand you like this."

Mingi gripped onto my hand tighter, and he fell apart. He let out strained sobs as he clung onto my shoulder, burying his head into the couch.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered, lifting his head up to show me his tear-stained face.

I stroked his hand. "It's okay, Mingi. I'm here." He wiped his tears and sniffled.

"You should go now, Wooyoung," he said, moving off me and standing up.

"Are you sure-" 

"Yes, please. I don't want you around me when I'm like this. I'll message you later." I stared at him, contemplating whether or not he was lying, but his glassy eyes and red face told me to trust him.

I gave him a smile and turned to walk to the door, but as I was walking, I accidentally knocked a camera off a bench. Mingi rushed over to grab the camera and put it back onto the bench, but further away from my grasp. He gave me a soft and reassuring smile as he hurriedly opened the door for me.

I warily walked out the door, keeping eye contact with the camera. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mingi's facial expression turn from calm to distress, urging me out the door as quickly as he could.

"Mingi, is that-" Before I could say a word to him, he shut the door on me.

The vision of the flashing red light clouded my memory as I stared at his apartment door.

"...Is that camera on?"