why? // ateez au

the shattered.

As I entered his apartment, a symphony of sorrowful sobs enveloped the space. Every room remained untouched, bearing the weight of neglect. Even the burnt pan, evidence of Wooyoung's attempt to extinguish a fire, remained on the stove, a poignant reminder of the chaos that had unfolded.

"Mingi?" I called out, cautiously traversing the floor, almost tiptoeing toward the bathroom. No response greeted me, only the frantic sound of cabinets being hastily opened echoed through the room.

Standing before the bathroom doorway, a sense of disbelief washed over me. There stood Mingi, clutching a bottle in his right hand, his left hand brimming with small tablets. Tears streamed down his already tear-stained face as he lifted them toward his mouth, unaware of my presence.

Determined to intervene, I widened the door, hoping the squeak would catch his attention, but he remained lost in his despair. My heart raced within my chest, and my hands trembled uncontrollably. I couldn't bear the thought of him perishing before my eyes.

"Mingi?" I called out, raising my voice. This time, he turned his gaze towards me, revealing bloodshot, puffy eyes. He tightened his grip on the pills in his left hand, fixating his gaze on me, and I slowly approached him.

Reaching out, I gently took the bottle from his hand and pried open his clenched fingers, causing the pills to cascade onto the floor. Our eyes locked, and he maintained unwavering eye contact. With a tender gesture, I brushed his shoulder, drawing him into a comforting embrace. After a few moments, he reciprocated, clutching me tightly and pouring out his anguish on my shoulder.

"I can't do this anymore..." He mumbled, squeezing onto me tighter. We stayed like this for a minute, until he pulled away and looked at me. 

"San..." he began, gripping my shoulders, "I don't want to do this anymore." I furrowed my brow,

"What do you mean, Mingi?"

"I am exhausted, San. Each day has become an indistinguishable cycle of emptiness. I haven't accomplished anything in weeks, and everyone despises me for it. They all hate me, San. Ever since Yunho's death, the weight of their hate has been crushing me. I don't want this life..."

He started to sob, louder than before, 

"How can I live the life I once had, knowing that he, my best friend, is gone forever?"

A sharp pang pierced my heart, and tears welled up in my eyes. Tenderly brushing the strands of hair from his face, I observed his teardrops cascading once more. In a hushed voice, barely audible, I whispered,

"I'll get some food and we'll talk about this, okay? Remember, Mingi, I'm here for you, always."

Relinquishing my embrace, he stood motionless, watching as I left from the bathroom. As I exited his apartment, I gently closed the door without locking it and began descending the steps. However, a sudden noise caught my attention, causing my heart to skip a beat. I looked up, frozen in place.

The very door that I had closed seconds ago was now being shut by someone else.

Someone had entered his apartment.