why? // ateez au

the destruction.

The sound of waves has always brought me comfort, their gentle rhythm instilling a sense of tranquility within me. There's something soothing about their gradual retreat into stillness as if offering a glimpse of serenity that eludes our chaotic lives. 

Oh, how I wished that was how life was like. 

How I yearned for life to mirror those calm waves. But the reality was far from the peaceful shores we admire during summer vacations. Life resembled the vociferous surges of water, crashing down on our illusions of stability and sweeping away everything we held dear.

People may label me a realist or a pessimist, but I couldn't care less. I prefer facing life as it is rather than deluding myself into a blissful fantasy that will only crumble in the face of adversity.

Sitting on the sandy beach, I dipped my feet in the cool water, finding calmness in its touch. Retrieving a small notebook from my pocket, I settled down and embraced the warm September night. The waves gently whispered, barely audible, their tranquility a stark contrast to the chaos that often consumed me. 

Opening the notebook, I immersed myself in the pages filled with the words I had penned over the years. Songwriting had become my sanctuary, allowing me to express emotions and thoughts that eluded me in spoken words. Each verse concealed deeper meanings only I could truly decipher. 

Perhaps it's because every word I write doesn't explicitly say what I feel, it's somewhat hidden, only I could truly know what those words really mean. 

IFlipping through the pages, I admired the songs I had crafted, feeling a sense of pride in my creations. But then, I stumbled upon the last page, and my world came crashing down.

My trembling hands illuminated the words written in blank ink with the light of my phone's camera. The message etched onto the page pierced through my heart, its meaning leaving me paralyzed.

"GO BACK TO YOUR STUDIO."

Anxiety consumed me, and without a second thought, I tore the page from my notebook, discarding it behind me. My heartbeat quickened, sending shivers down my spine. The gravity of the situation propelled me to my feet, clutching the notebook and phone as I sprinted away, leaving the waves behind.

And ironically, the once-calm waves began to rise and churn.

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My studio... 

It laid in ruins. Every canvas, meticulously painted, now lay in shards. Each brush, a faithful companion in my artistic journey, had been callously snapped in half. My heart ached as I surveyed the wreckage, witnessing my dreams crumble before my eyes. The remnants of my creations, torn and scattered, mirrored the fragments of my shattered aspirations.

Yet, amidst the wreckage, one thing remained unscathed—the pair of crimson-colored sneakers. They sat undisturbed on my workbench, untouched by the chaos that had engulfed everything else. I approached the bench, the left shoe finding its place in my hands.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips. At least these were spared.

Exhausted and disheartened, I glanced around, a myriad of emotions warring within me. How could I rebuild everything I had lost? Doubts plagued my mind, threatening to suffocate my spirit.

Just then, an envelope caught my eye, nestled beneath the right shoe. A surge of anticipation mixed with trepidation surged through me, causing my heart to race.

I retrieved the note from its enclosure, unfolding it with utmost care, as if handling fragile glass. My eyes darted across the words scrawled on the paper, and a sharp pain shot through my core. My stomach clenched, and the shoe slipped from my grasp. Clutching the note tightly, I fled from the broken studio, enveloped by the cloak of darkness.

Reality had turned into a fantasy, leaving me adrift in an ocean of uncertainty.

Nothing was real anymore.