Belated Fate (Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 22. The wedding day

Y/n's POV:

I spent remaining three weeks before the wedding earning the honorary title of a workaholic, giving myself completely to work, spending extra hours there and asking colleagues to give me their assignments. It seemed to me to be the only effective option, which would distract me from unnecessary thoughts, exhausting me physically so that I would stop caring about everything else.

To some extent, I turned out to be right, because I really didn't have the strength to delve into my head for hours and anxiously think about what awaits me in the future. But on the other hand, I was completely wrong when I thought that avoiding Elizabeth would help me get her out of my mind and it happened exactly the opposite.

Every time our eyes met, or when I was somewhere near to her, my whole body felt like a shock wave hit me and my heart began to beat several times faster, causing my hands to shake a little. My condition reminded me of an addicted person who was trying to quit doing drugs.

Every single time I saw the woman, I was consumed by the need for her touch, her warmth next to me, which was always bringing me the missing feeling of comfort and the desire to just talk to her about some little things, sharing how my day went. But this became impossible for me, since the forbiddance is the forbiddance and I didn't have a single right to violate it.

I knew that she felt the same way, noticing her gradually fading gaze, reluctance to take an active part in the life of the company as before, and hearing stories from my colleagues about occasional episodes of her strong mood swings. Some people even spread rumors that she was pregnant, causing me to mentally roll my eyes in exasperation, wishing I never heard that sort of thing again in this life.

As much as I hated it, the wedding became the main upcoming event that literally everyone was talking about, forcing me to constantly sit in my office all day long so as not to once again encounter the discussions of curious employees. But even with all my efforts to avoid it, this topic found certain ways to remind me of its existence, causing the numb pain to devour my chest and mind.

The last week has been especially difficult for me from a mental point of view, because these were the last days before the event, which I was so afraid of because of the uncertainty of whether I would be able to survive it normally at all. Even increased workload and spending time with my friends couldn't distract me from things that completely refused to leave my thoughts, not giving me the opportunity to think about something else.

Eventually, my patience snapped and irritation due to the fact that I couldn't control my own head, kicking unnecessary worries out from there and resigning myself to defeat, forced me to make a fateful decision. Filled with spontaneity and disappointment in how unfairly the world works, I took a vacation for two months, not yet having the courage to fully leave the company, and decided to move to another city for a while.

Los Angeles has become too stuffy and cramped for me, giving the impression that I will forever be in a cage with only one prospect: to be stuck here for the rest of my life and never again be able to breathe deeply, being glad that nothing bothers me anymore. I desperately need a break from everything that has happened to me in recent months and finally fully come to terms with the fact that Elizabeth is already a lost game with no chance of rematch.

She is going to marry a worthy man who can take care of her for the rest of her life, continue to pursue her career and get used to the role of a newly made wife, delighting everyone in her surroundings. In fact, it's only important for me that she's happy in the end and is able to fall in love with the person with whom she will build a family, because this is the most important thing.

"It's normal, it happens that real strong feelings come only after some time," I reassure myself, "she will definitely understand that I was just a temporary pointless interest and will live the perfect life she deserves." I don't know if I really think like that or if I'm just looking for all sorts of ways to cut off the last strings that hold me here so that it's easier for me to leave.