Go For It

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Getting back to life was a hard thing. I don't miss Derek. I miss parts of Derek. I feel a huge void in my life. Mainly between my legs where his cock once laid. He had skills and a laid out plan. He knew how to play the game, and he knew how to play it well. I still don't know anything about him, and I don't want to. He needs to remain a mystery. He was just a simple fuck. The one thing I do know, the boy had skills. Mad skills.

Now, as I have said before, I am not a whore. I'm not even close to a whore. I mean, I think about sex all day. All day everyday. Everything can be related to sex, and unfortunately, my porny ass mind sees them all. So here I am, having the need, but unable to fulfill it. I'm not a huge fan of going out. I like to stay home and try to study. I know if I am going to get anywhere, I need to do it.

I'm really not sure if Derek is ever going to return. I don't ask about him. I don't want to give anyone the false sense that I actually give a shit. There are things you care about, and things you don't. My main concern in life was getting a good fuck from Derek. Now, when he was here, I cared about him. I didn't want to see that gorgeous manhood maimed or injured in anyway. But now, I couldn't care less if I tried. I only wish one thing... I wish I was getting more action than he is.

I need to find a replacement. I need to find someone to fill this void that I have. I need someone to satisfy my never ending sexual need. It's a shame that I don't have that. See, the thing is, Derek was great. To find someone to do what he had done will be really hard. He has some huge shoes to fill, and I have a feeling no one else has feet that large.

"Hey sweetie..." My friend Izzie says as she walks up to our lunch table. She is always happy. And me, I guess you could say I am a tad bit grumpy. I wouldn't say so, but I have heard it before. I guess I am condescending. Very condescending.

"Hey." I grumble as I lean back in the booth and watch as she sits down. I shake my head and looked at this happy person in front of me. She acts so innocent. I think she even tries to act innocent to me. I think she is a closet vixen. She is engaged, but I know she looks. I even think she has taken a taste or two. Either way, I have to laugh. Little miss perfect may not be so perfect. At least I don't lie about shit like that.

"You don't look happy." She points out with a frown. "I mean more so than usual." She points out with a chuckle. "What's going on?"

"Nothing... I'm fine." I tell her as I sip the soda that our waiter has brought to me. I rarely drink soda, but today is a soda day.

"Oh yes... You are so fine. Seriously, what is going on?" She asks again as she sips her own soda.

"Nothing... I'm just thinking I need to go out looking." I tell her with a nod. I need sex. I need it really bad and I'm not afraid to admit it.

"Out looking... Oh! For a guy. Yeah, you need to find someone. You really do need someone." She tells me as she looks over the menu. As I listen to her, I wonder if she even knows me. I don't need someone. I am not that girl that needs someone. I'm not sure what the hell she is thinking.

"I don't need someone." I tell her frankly. I am fighting the urge to reach up and smack her upside the head. Need someone. No one needs someone. If you need someone, then you need to reach down inside of yourself and do some serious thinking.

"You just said..." She tells me as she drops the menu and looks across the table at me. I hate her blonde hair. I kind of want to pull it our of her head a strand at a time right now. But then again, she is my friend. And I am being very rotten to her at the moment.

"I said I needed to look. For a fuck." I grumble loudly. "Not a relationship. I don't want that shit. I just want screaming orgasms and one night stands. Well, not one night. One guy. Sex. And that is it. No strings. No emotions. No attachment." I explain with a smile. It is such a great plan.

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