Alone

Used to it

I got home eventually and saw my Dad he looked rage filled I gulped as I watched him get out a knife. I'm used to it though, all it ever does is make me angry now at him at the world. On why there is so many bad people in the world, why I'm powerless in this situation living in fear of what his "connections" can do to me. I don't want to end up at HYDRA any time soon. Yet, somehow part of me believes I deserve it. The pain. The reminder that I'm a burden. A experiment, my only real purpose to become a lab rat. Part of me believes what happens to me I deserve. I deserve to be put in place by men who have more power than me. I deserve to be starved and beaten to the limb. I deserve every bit of it, all of it.

I guess the way I grew up I knew I couldn't trust anyone. I have never let anyone in and I bottle everything up. I haven't broken yet I can keep everything in. I didn't used to have any friends I was known for being angry. Everyone avoided me which was the way I liked it but, when I started high school I met Pete, MJ and Ned, I don't trust them but I guess in my own way their my friends. My own special way. I mean a friendship doesn't have to have trust.

My body is covered in scars, healing, and fresh cuts. Not to mention the hundreds of bruises of different variations, brown, black, blue, purple, green, yellow and red. I have bones that healed wrong not to mention definitely having brain damage. I'm pretty mentally fucked too. But this is stuff I'm used to I just don't really care anymore. I don't want help either. I simply want to be left alone.

I went out once my Father was done. Is it smart to beat the shit out of someone when I have a broken leg and hairline fracture in the wrist probably not but it calms my sleep deprived brain. It's exhilarating fighting people for doing something they shouldn't it's a place where I have the power. I'm in charge. It's just so freeing. I don't really want to be in charge though I really just want someone to care, care if I disappeared.

I end up falling asleep on the roof of a random house before being greeted by nightmares.

'Hello, Harvey you ready for a little reminder of where you stand,' the voice torments.

'Yes, sir' I replied to the man. Flashbacks of what they did flashing through my head. Tears in my eyes as I begin to wake up.
I slowly woke up to Peter yelling
'H, Hood, come on are you alright,'

'Oh h-hey Petey,' I said.
'I am fine must have fallen asleep star-gazing,' I said looking at him.

'Petey, no one calls me that except H, plus when did you learn my identity?' He questioned looking absolutely mind blown.

'Isn't it a little past your bedtime, what would Mr Stark say,' I stated winding him up a little trying to change the topic.

'I think he would tell you both to go to bed Harvey,' I looked up to see Clint walking over to the two of us.

'Hey I was enjoying confusing Peter more.' I complained.

'Wait what are you doing here? Are you following me again?' I asked glaring at him after processing everything.

'That's not important, are your guardians not worried about your whereabouts at this time of day?' He asked changing the topic.

'May knows where I am,' Peter said responding,
'Although I probably should be getting home, nice to know your name Harvey.'

'See you at school idiot,' I yelled back.

'Wait, H,' he said turning around looking completely shocked.
'The one and only now, adios bugboy,' I said before watching Peter going off into the distance.

'What about you is your Dad not worried?' Clint asked again.

'He doesn't know so, no, he's either working or asleep, don't really care,' I shrugged glaring at Clint still.

'you never answered my question either. Why are you following me?' I questioned.

'You know you shouldn't go out without telling someone what if something happened,' he said. I rolled my eyes. If I disappear for more than a week he'd send Hydra after me. I knew that from experience. Plus Clinton dodged my question again rude.

'Nothings going to happen, I never get injured,' probably a dumb move that, I don't get injured out on the field much but he had seen my injuries.

'Where's your sling and didn't you have a broken leg,' Clint begins to confront me probably Because he started looking for my injuries from my last statement.

'I got annoyed with the sling. and broken leg, you must be thinking about something else,' I say glaring before speaking again.

'Uh, I should really be getting home now anyway, bye,' I said angrily, with a hostile tone proceeding to run off. Well I messed that up a little. that was a close call.

'Harvey wait,' he yelled back at me. I was already getting myself way out of there.