OLD Campus Crush

43

Picture of Dawson

"They're gonna start prepping me for surgery in about an hour. I'm not entirely sure. My head hurts and my memory's hazy," David informed.

"That means we've got just an hour together. Think we can make the most of it?"

His hand settled on my lower back. "We'll try."

I moved closer to him, kicking off my shoes and slipping a leg between his. His body warmth calmed me down, and I felt my frantic heart slow its pace. It was just enough to focus on the hour that we had left. I knew there was simply no time to be sad or cry. Right now, I needed to make each second count.

"Somehow I always knew I could trust you," I admitted. "You remember when I flirted with you in your office? You invited me to your home and I agreed. Most people wouldn't have, but I trusted you. I don't think you know the whole story behind that day."

"Something about your roommate? You had a crush on him."

"I did. I know now that it was just attraction. I mean, he's quite beautiful, but we never had a solid foundation for a relationship. Maybe that was my fault, maybe it was his... But there was a lot of miscommunication there."

"So what really happened?"

"Well, you know Lucas Montana. He gave me a lesson: Flirting 101, but I was supposed to use it on my roommate, Nash."

"And you used it on a professor," David laughed quietly.

"I don't regret it," I smiled. "Anyway, I walked into my room only to see Nash kissing his ex. Then they started arguing and Nash confessed he loved someone else. I thought that someone was Lucas."

David's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would you think that?"

I shrugged. "They cuddled once. Now I think it's because Lucas was having a hard time with his depression and just needed someone? Also, my self esteem was really low. Never thought someone like Nash would like me. So I called your office. I know, I know: 'why you?' I figured since you're a psychologist..."

He laughed again, infectiously too, so I couldn't help but join. "I just needed someone to talk to who wouldn't judge me. I just didn't realize how much I liked you until I walked into your office. You and your reading glasses, your intuition, and your confidence that I could do great things... I fell for you and there was no mistaking it. There was no way around it either. The normal thing to have done was just swallow whatever feelings I had for you because... Well, you were my teacher."

"But you didn't. So what changed your mind?" He played with my fingers absentmindedly and affectionately.

"I'll just put it this way. Law would say that this is wrong and maybe even immoral. Love would say that what we have is whatever we want it to be." I shrugged. "I'm glad I walked in on Nash and his ex. I probably would've flirted with him and asked him out. You and I may not have even happened. Every decision, every consequence, and every moment of hurt that I felt... it all led to loving you and I wouldn't change that."

He stroked my cheek fondly. "I'm so glad I met you. You could've chosen any college in any state, but you came here. You know, the thought of you being with someone else right now... I have to admit I'm jealous. And I'm not a jealous person at all."

"David, I'm with you. I'm yours."

"I know. You realize that my heart belongs to you, right?"

I nodded. "I don't wanna ask this of you, but how do I carry on if you're not here? How do I go back to a life where you're not there?"

"Well... Mourn. Grieve. But don't let it consume you. If you grieve for too long, it'll depress you even more. Instead of dwelling on someone's death, appreciate the life they had and the times you spent together."