fragile | clexa

chapter twenty

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Clarke could tell when Lexa fell asleep as the woman's breathing changed and her hand stopped drawing patterns on Clarke's lower back. Lexa's breaths were soft as always, her chest lifting in regular intervals, and Clarke solely focused on that and Lexa's body warmth and movements for the next hours.

There was a certain satisfaction in finally being able to adjust her breathing rythm to someone else's, since Clarke, when she had been a toddler, had tried endless times, over and over again, to breathe like her mother had and always failed with the capacity of a child's lungs.

Sometimes, the rythm changed, for an instant if Lexa moved a little or something seemed to happen in her dreams that had her breath hitch. Clarke held her breath then, to be as quiet as possible, and figure out the new breathing rythm.

The steady counting of breaths somewhen led the girl's eyes to drop, her eyelids too heavy, and that certain, rare calmness that had long crept into her body led to immense tiredness. That moment, she promised herself she would lift whatever Lincoln brought her and go so many steps that her body would collapse, only for it to be into Lexa's arms.

Clarke was ready to do whatever it took for Lexa to have that sincere pride towards her again, and then, maybe, if she tried really hard, she would get the offer for a reward again and she could spend another night like she spent that night.

-

Clarke fell asleep somewhen close to dawn, but oddly, her dream was simply... empty. There was only warmth in it and nothing else specifically terrifying.

She didn't know if it was because when she woke up, only against late afternoon since her sleep hadn't been interrupted by nightmares, she was still hugged by Lexa.

Clarke didn't know how the Heda was simply lying there with a book, ready to just cuddle a slave all day and night. Lifting a few small books couldn't have been that impressive.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked, noticing movements of the girl in her arms. "You awake?"

Clarke nodded against Lexa's chest, feeling Lexa loosen her grip and scooting away a little to look into Clarke's eyes. "Good morning. Or well- afternoon, rather. Did you sleep well?"

Clarke nodded again. She maybe hadn't slept so well in years.

"Would you like to get up? Eat, get dressed, take a bath, anything?"

Another nod, but to nothing in particular. So Lexa helped Clarke up, handed her the cane, and made sure she got to the bathroom safely. There she laid out clothes for the girl, let in a bath after asking if Clarke would like one, and ordered food before taking her watch over the blonde.

Clarke could lift the soap quite easily and she even succeeded in washing everything from her ankles to her lower stomach until her muscles gave out.

She tried again, but even with all forcing, her arm wouldn't move up to her hair, and she know she should have tried subtler when she heard Lexa asking if she'd need help.

"Only if it does not bother you," Clarke said with a small bow of her head.

Lexa was up in no time, kneeled behind Clarke on the floor and carefully took the soap from slender hands. She started off with wetting Clarke's hair, then massaged some soap into it and, hearing Clarke's almost silent content sigh, she kept doing it a little longer than necessary before washing it out again.

"Would you like me to clean the rest of your body?" it escaped her after seeing a streak of dirt over Clarke's shoulder, and a look of panic passed over Clarke's face before it went neutral again. "Say no if you don't want to," Lexa quickly added.