fragile | clexa

chapter sixty five

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Clarke didn't know what exactly it was during dinner that made her wish for its end. Maybe it was Anya's glances when Lexa wasn't looking that Clarke wanted to get rid of. Maybe it was Raven, who tried so friendly to negotiate between Anya and Clarke and who Clarke just wanted to give a break. Maybe it were her parents, who looked around with increasing nervosity- especially her mom- and who Clarke knew would be far more relaxed and enjoying their time if it hadn't been for Clarke.

But most likely it was Lexa. The others were the push factor and Lexa was the pull factor. Because yeah, they had shared a kiss and they had hugged, but the more she had to sit there next to Lexa, the more she realized how much she had missed the woman's touch. That one kiss and one hug had only contributed to her craving to have Lexa close again, to cuddle her again, to drown in sweet little kisses.

So when the weird atmosphere over dinner finally dissolved with the end of the meal, Clarke helped to do the dishes even though Abby told her she should not and then, Lexa and she left right after Anya and Raven.

Clarke had certainly been aiming for an evening like their afternoon had been after Lexa saying 'I love you' for the first time; a soft, gentle bubble of kisses and blankets and cuddles, but when the bedroom door closed behind them and Clarke pulled Lexa in for a kiss, Lexa stumbled backwards and ended up with her back hitting the door.

With a surprised gasp, Lexa kissed her back, hand getting lost in Clarke's hair as their lips clashed. They pulled away for air only when they really had to, and Lexa realized that that had been by far the non-softest kiss they had ever shared.

"You okay?" Lexa panted against Clarke's lips.

"I missed you." And then, after a slight bit of hesitation, she added. "You've got cuddles and kisses to make up."

Lexa chuckled and her following words, no matter how cheesy, left Clarke's heart melting into nothing but blushy warmth pouring all through her body.

"There's nothing I would rather do, love."

God, it only took a nickname and Clarke was completely lost with how to respond.

Her words wouldn't flow and her eyes couldn't hold the softness in Lexa's eyes, so they fell close and she did the only thing her body seemed capable of. She took Lexa's hand and tipped her head forward just an inch or two, her lips grazing Lexa's again.

Lexa's lips captured hers, sucked Clarke's bottom lip between them to mark it with love and five minutes later, Lexa had eventually stumbled on the couch and Clarke had climbed into her lap to straddle her. Lexa's hands settled on her hips and she gave up trying to have any upper hand in their chasing of kisses when Clarke practically kissed her right into the softness of the couch.

Her arms wrapped around Clarke's torso and she wasn't sure when they switched from kissing to just hugging, but she enjoyed every part of her body that was in contact with Clarke's.

Their hands had found each other again and silently, leaned against Clarke, Lexa lifted their joined hands up to press her lips to Clarke's knuckles. "'love you," she mumbled, let her eyes close and her thoughts drift off. Her days had been so full, there had barely been time for two or three hours of sleep to be squeezed in. The tower had been busy, everyone had talked to her and she had had a thousand things to organize and plan out, whether that was medicine, therapy, food or the celebration that would take place the next weekend.

When she had felt her eyes go too heavy after a 24 hour day of hurrying around, Lexa had retired to her personal chambers and allowed herself a nap. Often she had only come as far as the couch and hadn't even taken her armor off. Now that she was in Clarke's arms, her lips prickling with past kisses and her heart finally taking its time to rest and slow down in Clarke's arms, she grew more tired by the second.

"Hey," Clarke said and poked her side. "Don't fall asleep."

A chaos of letters meant to be 'why not?' tumbled from Lexa's lips and Clarke chuckled, planting a kiss on Lexa's temple. "It takes forever to change you out of this terrible prison of an armor when you're asleep. You're like a rock. Let alone get you to bed."

"'m gonna sleep on da couch."

"Come on Lex, you haven't even brushed your teeth."

Lexa opened one eye, then the other. "What did you just call me?"

"You called me 'love'," Clarke argued with a blush. "I have the right to cut the a now. Also it seems to get you awake."

"It makes me sound like a baby, don't do it," Lexa complained with a not so serious pout.

"Why not?" Clarke teased. "Look how much of a baby you are. Can't change, can't brush your teeth, can't go to bed..." She peppered little kisses on Lexa's forehead. "I'm gonna call you Lex until you're all ready for bed in bed."

"Mphf. 'kay. But I don't have a toothbrush or anything to change into."

"Well, I do," Clarke said and got up. She had gotten Raven's old clothes because she didn't yet have anything to wear for herself and chose the best-looking nightgown for Lexa.

Equipped with a fresh toothbrush and two nightgowns, Clarke and Lexa left for the bathroom. It was only because Abby happened to pass the hallway as they did that Lexa let Clarke go first and waited outside, because she was afraid they had already been too close at dinner and what would Clarke's mother think if they now shared the bathroom?

Then again, though, they were already sharing a bed.

"Heda," Clarke's mother bowed and instead of going her way, she stopped and cleared her throat. "Uh, since you're planning to share Clarke's room tonight..." she drifted off and didn't pick the sentence up again.

"I would never harm her, if that's your concern," Lexa said. After a bit of silence, she added, "If you would prefer that, I could sleep on the couch."

"The couch has been needing replacement for a while, it's certainly not made for sleeping. It's far too short for someone to lay down properly, no, Heda, but my husband and I could take the living room couch and you could take our bed. I freshly changed the sheets and everything is tidy."

"Please, ma'am, I really don't wish to be of inconvenience. I'm fine like this."

"Are you sure? Because you have to know, Clarke suffers from really bad nightmares. She can get a lot per night that wake her up, and she mostly wakes up anyone within the same room. Let alone the same bed. I would not want this night to be of discomfort for you, Heda."

"I don't care," Lexa said truthfully. "I'm used to disruptive sleep."

"Okay, well uh- if you're sure. If you need anything, just take it. My husband and I have our bedroom upstairs, first door to the left. Wake me up if you need to."

Lexa nodded. Abby was practically radiating nervosity and so the younger woman tried again to offer some comfort, "Would you like us to keep the door opened?"

"No, Heda, of course not. Of course not. It tends to grow cold in the house over night now that it's October."

Lexa bowed her head to show her gratitude and Abby attempted to give her a quick smile.

"Good night, Heda."

"Good night, ma'am. Sleep well."

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