fragile | clexa

chapter thirty four

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It was two weeks later, and Clarke was still in her coma. Lexa was getting more and more hopeless reading her books and telling her stories. She still did it, of course. She also still brought flowers and once they were ripe, cherries.

"If you don't wake up now, Clarke, I will eat them all by myself," she would say. Or, "They're soo sweeeeet. If you woke up, then you might get a bite."

Clarke didn't move and slowly, Lexa was thinking Anya might've been right. She was sitting away her time, not even able to actively help Clarke, and it felt horrible.

"Clarke, I miss you," she tried. "You can't give up on me just yet."

Clarke made no effort to move. Obviously she didn't, but it still frustrated Lexa. "I'll go for a walk. This tent is making me go insane, but I'll be back soon. Don't wake up in the meanwhile."

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Of course, after about a month of Lexa begging Clarke to wake up, even crying out of an odd kind of defeat, she only once needed to ask Clarke not to wake up and she came back to healers all over a crying Clarke.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked, voice strained and unbelieving, like she had long given up on her own hopes for Clarke's well-being. She pushed past the healers around Clarke's bed.

The girl's eyes were open and her face tear-struck. Thank God had the cut healed enough not to be affected by the tears.

"Clarke," Lexa breathed and really couldn't care less about dropping to her knees next to Clarke in front of several healers.

"But where's Raven?" Clarke hiccuped confused and with an exception for Nyko, Lexa sent everyone outside.

"Who?" she asked softly.

"And- and my grandma. My grandma." And Clarke started crying even worse. "Is she dead? Where am I? Where is grandma? I fell asleep in her arms, where did she go?"

"Clarke," Lexa tried to calm to girl down. "You're in TonDC. Your grandmother isn't here right now."

"Who are you? Someone wanted to- my grandma... she- cherries. But I wanted to bake a cherry cake with my grandma. Someone promised me to pick cherries. And flowers. My grandma... my grandma- but I fell asleep in her arms, where is she? Where is she? She read a book to me."

"Clarke," Lexa repeated. "Your grandmother isn't here. Do you know who I am?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Lexa," Lexa said with her heart stinging a bit.

"My grandma's name isn't Lexa. Are you my grandma? You look younger."

And after barely getting these words out, Clarke was gone again.

"This is very good," Nyko said in the back. "She can talk relatively understandably and will probably wake up again in a few hours. If we're lucky, we might have her stable tomorrow."

"Very good? She confused me with her grandma!"

Nyko dared to smile a little. "At least she admitted that you look younger. Now please, Heda, you would need to make space for the healers. She will need support to breathe now, most certainly, and should be with medical attention."

So Lexa grabbed a chair and sat in the very corner of the tent. She didn't want to admit that what really hurt, was that Clarke didn't remember her anymore.

Not even her name, or her appearance.

Her grandma. Pah.

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