fragile | clexa

chapter thirty eight

____________________________

Lexa was mad at her. Clarke knew it, saw it, felt it, heard it.

No.

Lexa wasn't mad. She was furious, enraged, seething.

That was the right word. Seething. It wasn't that Lexa was yelling, or throwing things around, or red in the face. But the air was tense. Fire was burning down the calming forest color in Lexa's eyes, her knuckles were bloody, her jaw so tight Clarke was scared for the sake of Lexa's teeth and bones.

She was propped up on Lexa's bed, back in their tent, body supported with pillows and a half-finished glass of water on the nightstand. While Lexa had helped Clarke drink it, she had looked like she would've crushed the glass beneath her fingers if it hadn't been Clarke's water.

"What happened to your face?" Clarke tried after a while of fully tensed silence. Her question was quiet, careful, like whatever had happened to Lexa's face could just lash out in a second.

Like those bruises on Lexa's knuckles were ready to become more.

Lexa had a bloody nose. Even though she'd wiped away the blood, black blood wasn't easy to just disappear. There was simply a streak of blood horizontally across her face now, and on the back of her hand. Her cheeks were bruised, both sides but one more than the other. There were a few small cuts over her face and her jaw looked like it had taken a punch or two as well.

"Why would you leave the tent when I specifically tell you not to move more than to the bathroom? I told you, very clearly, to stay in bed."

"I couldn't sleep," Clarke said almost inaudibly, pushing back into the pillows as if they'd protect her.

"You could have died. Someone could have done some shit with you again and I wouldn't have been there again! If I overwhelmed you with that kiss and you were too afraid to tell me-"

"No!" Clarke cut in and bit her tongue the same second she did. Lexa's eyes found hers rapidly and the usually soft green wasn't so gentle now. "Apologies," the blonde anxiously added.

"If I overwhelmed you with that kiss and you were too afraid to tell me," Lexa started again, "Then I would never blame you for wanting to leave. But this is not how you do it."

"I didn't want to leave," Clarke said quietly.

"Then why did you go against the only thing I asked you to do and went outside in the middle of the night? Outside the whole village into the woods?"

Tears built up in Clarke's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lexa."

"Tell me why you went."

"I just wanted to clear my head and take a walk," Clarke hiccuped. "It felt so nice to actually be able to move I forgot about what you told me. I'm sorry. My mind was everywhere but that. I'm so sorry Lexa. I didn't mean to get you into trouble." She weakly gestured to Lexa's face.

"Clarke, why do you think I'm having this conversaion with you? Because someone thought it was a great day to hate on me or because I fucking woke up the second time in a far too short time to the news that you're unconscious in a healer's tent? I thought someone tried to kill you. I thought you tried to- you- oh goddamnit Clarke just don't fucking scare me like that."

Clarke didn't know how to respond. She just sat there, unmoving, watching Lexa approach her. Clarke's fingers curled around the fur beneath her, her eyes closed when Lexa leaned down, her hand raised up to Clarke's face and she took a single short breath waiting for the inevitable.