fragile | clexa

chapter forty one

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Clarke woke up surrounded by warmth and softness. Her eyes caught onto a blurry world as they opened, her body unwillingly stretched and she made a little sound between a yawn and a sleepy sigh. When she lifted her head from the brown hair that was tickling her face, Lexa came into her view.

The woman was awake already too, but seemed as tired as Clarke felt. Her eyes were half-closed, her pupils big with sleep and she blinked only slowly, heavily. A sleepy smile appeared on her lips when she saw that Clarke was awake.

"Hi," she meant to say, but it ended up as an indistinguishable mumble. The corners of Clarke's lips pulled upwards at the sound and her heart felt impossibly full when Lexa's smile grew. The previous day seemed to have fallen out of her mind.

It mostly felt like that around Lexa. Yes, in fact Clarke was sure that feeling was starting to blossom in her body again that exact moment. That exact moment when Lexa mindlessly started caressing her back, drowsiness recognizable in the movements. That exact moment when the warmth that was Lexa's body, the comfort that was the bed overwhelmed Clarke in the way it did sometimes. That exact moment she realized they were far too close anyway.

Lexa had seemed to notice too. The fingers that were drawing invisible patterns onto Clarke's back slowed down a bit and Clarke's heartbeat stumbled over itself when she saw Lexa's eyes lower painfully slowly. She seemed to need a lot of effort to tear them up again, even slower. A whisper reached Clarke's ears that only reached her mind several long seconds later.

"Can I kiss you?" Lexa had asked and her voice echoed back in Clarke's head softly, low, sleepy.

The word 'what' was already on the tip of her tongue, but her lips couldn't speak it out loud. Again, delayed a handful of seconds, she felt the reason.

Maybe Clarke had nodded subconsciously, maybe Lexa had just leaned a tiny inch forward by accident, maybe on purpose, maybe with a mix of both, but Clarke's whole soul melted into Lexa's as their lips connected.

That feeling pushed past all seams of Clarke's heart from the inside and broke through all walls from the outside. Like poison it spread in her body, transported in all her veins at once and in the matter of seconds, it formed four letters that crumbled again before they were finished. Clarke's eyes were still closed when she felt her lips cold again and heard Lexa, a thousand times more awake, breathe a panicked, "Oh my goodness. Clarke. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Clarke's breathing was labored, her sight suddenly sharp, her mind everything but sleepy.

"Clarke, can you hear me? I'm so sorry. I'm so, so-"

Lexa's words cut off.

Efficiently, she was shut up with shaky lips pushing back on hers, practically screaming kiss me again. i'm afraid i know what i feel, kiss me, Lexa, just one more time, kiss me.

For a few more seconds, that stiffness was there still because both Clarke and Lexa had to get their bodies under control. And then, for the first time ever, their lips dared soften, Lexa's hand went up to cup Clarke's cheek and any thought of time vanished with the breath in their lungs.

At least fifteen minutes later, Clarke was sitting in Lexa's lap, their soft chasing of lips had mixed with pants and both their lips were gleaming red. Clarke had never known kissing felt so good. No, not a gross tongue shoving past her lips and a rough beard scratching her face. Actually kissing someone, kissing Lexa.

With shaky hands, Clarke loosend her grip on Lexa's arms. Lexa in return dropped hers from Clarke's neck. It was silent for a while, only the birds outside to be heard for several seconds.